Men are born with big egos. So it’s natural for us to talk tough and act cool around our peers. I was recently playing FIFA with a guy who said “If my girl ever cheated on me, I am Gone like the Nsync song.” Of course I laughed, it was pretty funny… Actually, I was surprised that he even used a metaphor like that… I thought he only listened to Rick Ross, Mavado, Lil Wayne etc. A few weeks later, he said that he wanted to talk about something. So I sat down with a Guinness in my hand (when I really wanted a Baileys but I was guilty of a facade) while he paced up and down with his hands massaging his face. I witnessed a tough guy break down and cry. You know how f**king awkward that was.
Men like to say that “if she cheated once, then she will do it again”. Okay, this is not entirely true. In life, there are circumstances that may lead to mistakes. Human beings are not perfect. So, before you make a decision that is inextricably linked to your pride, take the time to ensure that you won’t regret your choice. I’m not saying that you should continue your relationship but, if you find out that your girlfriend cheated, here are a few things to consider:
1. Were you faithful in the relationship?
YES – kissing is cheating. You can’t be canoodling in the club and think that you are off the hook. YES – it is also cheating if she doesn’t know about the act. Double standards are unacceptable. Try to honestly evaluate yourself.
2. Did she cheat on you with a friend? or a person that you hate?
If the answer is yes to any of the aforementioned questions, then you probably should pack your bags and move on. The pain would be perpetual even for the ‘toughest’ of guys.
3. Did you unknowingly push her away?
There is no justification for cheating but you can try to understand what may have caused her actions. Men tend to fulfil the expectations of their lady in the courting stages but then become less engaged as time passes. Date nights become less frequent, cooking together becomes a thing of past, cuddling becomes a chore, hugs become extinct, foreplay becomes obsolete. Then a nice young man comes along who does what you are supposed to be doing. And BANG!
4. Was he better than you in bed?
I am just joking… lol… please don’t try to find out this information; you will never know the truth.
5. Was it a one-off thing? Or was it continuous?
Relationships can be complicated. You will make errors, she will make errors. But the one-off blunder is far more manageable than an emotional bond with Mr. Six Pack and Big Biceps.
6. Are you willing to really forgive her?
Absorb all the advice and opinions from friends, blogs, relatives, and ex-girlfriends. But at the end of the day, it’s what you really want. Aside from this one-off blooper, how do you feel when you are with her?
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Man up! … and that’s even if for #4 … lol
Hello Josh… definitely need to be mature in this situation … however, an unexpected answer to #4 would probably break down the majority of men.
Hey Jenn… yup, something to think about.
what would you do chris?
Sharls… I would try to really understand what part I may have had to play in all of this ( Did I fall short on affection, Did I become complacent etc.) … If I genuinely felt that it was a one-off thing, I could remain in the relationship, especially if I wasn’t pulling my weight… I certainly would not make a decision that is influenced by my ego
As I mentioned in the article, there is no justification for cheating but when all is said and done, I understand that human beings are capable of errors.
that’s a huge error to make, and whilst i understand that if you forced the person into it, you should re-exmine yourself (look for where you went wrong and try to not repeat it)…however if the person cheated, it only goes to say that they wanted out and that anything left to fix in the relationship, they were unwilling or unable to resolve before the action happened. which leaves me to wonder why you would try to stay in a relationship that the other person has given up on…theoretically of course if it had happened to you!
Point taken… lol @ your last comment “theoretically of course if it had happened to you”.
SO, Theoretically… if you were in a relationship and your partner cheated on you… you moving on for sure? zero chance of remaining in the relationship?
nothing is impossible, so I wouldnt say zero chance but if I had to go back into that relationship i’d probably have to get him a chastity belt…with a very unique key. You see, for me trust once broken could never be regained, so no matter how much in love i was, the thought would always revolve in my head…if it happened once, it could happen again!
I think that to make the relationship work again (if a partner cheated)… you would have to be willing to TRUST and FORGIVE the person completely… If it’s a case where a person perpeptually thinks that his/her partner may cheat again… then its probably best if he/she moves on
hmm,well thiss one was gud ,but artlcleee *about a man having a side chick *, isent that cheating on ur girlfriend,but maby its cheating in a nice way, soo wen a girl has a man on the side ,appart from her boyfriend it shouldent be a problem because its just like him having a side chick,, because who say she wantss b.b.q every night just like he doesent want fried chicken all the time ,sooo men shouldent say there girlfriend cheated on them thay should say ,man **she just has a side man ,,just like i have a side chick** soo were equal..sooo girlss dont be cheating ,,an i think u can make ur relatingship work by adding some new exciting an fun things to ur every day time u spend together **sex **if its borning make it funn it will benfit u an him ,an in the end ull have ur side desirt ,u wont have to go by somone elce 4 it ,, great work keep it up.
I do not believe in cheating whether it is from the male or the female. Cheating, is like an exam writing a paper that is not yours. Is she or he yours? Are you insecure? Did the romance die? I also believe in FORGIVENESS. Did one contribute to it. Stop blaming … resolution is do you love him or her to forgive to the due fact of resolving what happened or just say babe i really loved you but its time to move on or maybe try something new to make our relationship work… self love and love
I think when people are really in love, you’d be surprised at what they would be willing to forgive and hope to forget. Cheating, though, can be so devastating because it completely disrupt and often destroy one partner’s perception of the other and I think that’s the part that many just can’t get pass, especially if it happened more than once. Forgiveness is a tall order, but if both persons are committed they can overcome. for better or worse though, things will never be the same.