Let’s be clear about one thing: Chivalry does not require an instruction manual. Yes, old-fashioned ideologies should influence our actions but the reality of countless encounters with women on a daily basis makes it difficult to adhere to all these guidelines. Simply put … there is no right or wrong way to be gallant. So, you’ll be fine if you are RESPECTFUL, PATIENT and THOUGHTFUL.
1. Help a lady with her bag (s)
Women like to be very prepared. The checklist is endless. Makeup kit, a big bunch of keys, flat shoes, a laptop, body lotion etc. Collectively, these items can become very weighty. Once a lady appears to be struggling with a bag (or two); you should offer to assist. It shouldn’t matter if it’s a ‘girly’ colour or not. Only an insecure person would worry about what an onlooker might think. Truth be told… you should be more embarrassed if you allow the lady to struggle with the additional weight.
2. Be a little more considerate when it’s her time of the month
Women have to endure this unpleasant experience every month. Severe cramps and headaches can make a lady feel nauseous (I really want to say DAMN MISERABLE). Nevertheless, as men, we need to be mindful of her discomfort and make an effort to help her feel a little better. If you are inept at reading minds … you can’t go wrong with asking her how you can help. Okay, maybe you do need an instruction manual for this point!
3. Practise Basic Dining Etiquette
It’s really hard for us to understand the difference between the little spoon and the big f**king spoon. Men are befuddled when they see an array of cutlery. But we are certainly capable of practising simple table manners. No elbows on the table, No talking with food in your mouth, No excessive use of cell phones. Again… no excessive use of cell phones.
4. Check up on her
A simple text message like “Hey 🙂 … How you day going?” can change the complexion of the day for your lady. It may be the boost she needed for the stressful day that she is grappling with. And of course, communication should not just be limited to your partner… imagine how a lady in her 80s would feel when she picks up her house phone and hears “HI GRANDMA!”
5. Address her Pet Peeves
Put the toilet seat down, turn off the shower faucet, remember to refill the water bottle, throw your socks in the dirty clothes basket. It’s really not that hard and it makes a big difference. And yes, you need to stop drinking from the orange juice container when she is not looking … Get a glass.
6. Opening Doors
I assume that every man knows that he should open a door for a lady. It’s pretty straightforward when you are slightly ahead of the lady. Open the door and allow her to walk through. No problems there.
However, what happens when she reaches the door first and begins to open it. Well, it’s not ideal, but ensure that your hands are on the door to guide the process. She probably doesn’t mind opening the door for herself, but it would be nice if you helped. Try not to make it awkward by forcing her out the way to open the door.
7. Give up your seat
There are times when no seats are available. Luckily, you were early and got a nice chair. It’s great that you are punctual. Anyway, whether you are at a basketball game, on a bus, at a conference … Once you notice that a lady is standing – get up and offer her your seat. If she insists that she is “fine”, just leave the seat empty. Someone else can have it.
7.5 Be courteous for the right reason
Don’t be nice because you are worried about how you may be perceived by others. Chivalry is not for showmanship. It defeats the purpose if you do things half (0.5) heartedly for a lady.
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