Let’s be clear about one thing: Chivalry does not require an instruction manual. Yes, old-fashioned ideologies should influence our actions but the reality of countless encounters with women on a daily basis makes it difficult to adhere to all these guidelines. Simply put … there is no right or wrong way to be gallant. So, you’ll be fine if you are RESPECTFUL, PATIENT and THOUGHTFUL.
1. Help a lady with her bag (s)
Women like to be very prepared. The checklist is endless. Makeup kit, a big bunch of keys, flat shoes, a laptop, body lotion etc. Collectively, these items can become very weighty. Once a lady appears to be struggling with a bag (or two); you should offer to assist. It shouldn’t matter if it’s a ‘girly’ colour or not. Only an insecure person would worry about what an onlooker might think. Truth be told… you should be more embarrassed if you allow the lady to struggle with the additional weight.
2. Be a little more considerate when it’s her time of the month
Women have to endure this unpleasant experience every month. Severe cramps and headaches can make a lady feel nauseous (I really want to say DAMN MISERABLE). Nevertheless, as men, we need to be mindful of her discomfort and make an effort to help her feel a little better. If you are inept at reading minds … you can’t go wrong with asking her how you can help. Okay, maybe you do need an instruction manual for this point!
3. Practise Basic Dining Etiquette
It’s really hard for us to understand the difference between the little spoon and the big f**king spoon. Men are befuddled when they see an array of cutlery. But we are certainly capable of practising simple table manners. No elbows on the table, No talking with food in your mouth, No excessive use of cell phones. Again… no excessive use of cell phones.
4. Check up on her
A simple text message like “Hey 🙂 … How you day going?” can change the complexion of the day for your lady. It may be the boost she needed for the stressful day that she is grappling with. And of course, communication should not just be limited to your partner… imagine how a lady in her 80s would feel when she picks up her house phone and hears “HI GRANDMA!”
5. Address her Pet Peeves
Put the toilet seat down, turn off the shower faucet, remember to refill the water bottle, throw your socks in the dirty clothes basket. It’s really not that hard and it makes a big difference. And yes, you need to stop drinking from the orange juice container when she is not looking … Get a glass.
6. Opening Doors
I assume that every man knows that he should open a door for a lady. It’s pretty straightforward when you are slightly ahead of the lady. Open the door and allow her to walk through. No problems there.
However, what happens when she reaches the door first and begins to open it. Well, it’s not ideal, but ensure that your hands are on the door to guide the process. She probably doesn’t mind opening the door for herself, but it would be nice if you helped. Try not to make it awkward by forcing her out the way to open the door.
7. Give up your seat
There are times when no seats are available. Luckily, you were early and got a nice chair. It’s great that you are punctual. Anyway, whether you are at a basketball game, on a bus, at a conference … Once you notice that a lady is standing – get up and offer her your seat. If she insists that she is “fine”, just leave the seat empty. Someone else can have it.
7.5 Be courteous for the right reason
Don’t be nice because you are worried about how you may be perceived by others. Chivalry is not for showmanship. It defeats the purpose if you do things half (0.5) heartedly for a lady.
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LIVING THE LAI 
hey .,, thanks for the tips … and the laughs … real man makes real woman comfortable.
“Try not to make it awkward by forcing her out the way to open the door.” ,,, yes this is awkward
Hello … you’re welcome! … yeah, I definitely agree that “real man makes real woman comfortable”
I like when a man opens the door for me, but it’s very yukki when you stay back and they open and go through before you. That has happened to me already.
It may not happen with your date,(he wants to impress) but at workplace or other occasions … cause people have such different standards.
Hey Sandy … yeah, from time to time I will notice that a man will open the door and just walk right ahead of the lady… and as you mentioned, he certainly would not try that crap on a date…. However, sometimes, a gentleman may be distracted (or rushing) and genuinely not realize that he made an error … but when a man just doesn’t care, that’s unfortunate.
Reading Mr. Lai’s articles is becoming one of my favorite pass-time activity… He’s very witty, and wonderfully entertaining. I like that you’re taking the time to educate the young men of your generation, and also to remind the older generation to stay the course, by taking the time to take care of the ladies in their lives…. Kudos to you!
This comment made my day 🙂 …. thanks for the kind words and please continue to support my writing… Have a great day!
Show me a lady who deserves chivalry and I’ll be chivalrous. Today’s women tend to be selfish and exude such a strong sense of entitlement yet they demand to be treated as equals. When women chose to equitably exercise the attributes that you mentioned, namely respect, patience and thoughtfulness, then I’ll consider doing the same.
Somehow I think you missed 7.5. Chivalry is not a reactive trait, but rather a proactive characteristic. No longer do I hold the door for a lady in hope that she will say, “Thank you.” I hold it because I believe it’s the right thing to do. If she acknowledges my gesture, I’m happy that she does. If she doesn’t, it’s still a personal victory for me. Don’t get me wrong, at first, I got very annoyed when a lady didn’t say, “Thank you”. I would even say to some, “No need for thanks. I work here and it’s my job.” I eventually got over that when I questioned my own motive and that’s something that we should all spend some time doing every once in a while. Far too many of us look for a reward to every little thing that we do.
On the note of equality, just because women ask that we acknowledge their accomplishments academically and professionally, doesn’t mean that they should start chasing roaches and lifting heavy boxes. At that point, we’re comparing apples and oranges.
I agree with you… to an extent. I do concur that we ought not to show common courtesy and kindness expecting to be thanked or rewarded. I do not believe, however that equity and equality are synonymous. Men and women are different and those differences are usually complimentary. We do share similar attributes though, such as the the one’s mention in my previous comment. Those attributes are universal and will always trump “chivalry” as traditionally practiced. Letters after a name and accolades are nice but they don’t impress me much. A woman that treats other people the way she would want to be treated is always a lady in my eyes and I will treat her as such.
I think you realize we are in 2014, women can do just about anything men can do therefore chivalry is dying and must die to achieve full equality. The women who like these notions like it because it amounts to a gender privilege in their favor. Chivalry is on its way out and thank goodness, women don’t go out of their way to do anything for men why should we. At some point women have to give up the expectations of men treating them like princess for no apparent reason and follow the Golden Rule “treat others the way you would like to treated”.
Love this, hope the gentlemen are reading
what I do for a Lady is my honor. Need no rewards of any type. If not deserving I will still assist
for it is the right thing to do. Tho I have been taken advantage of, it is I who walks with head held high. Thru the years of ridicule my hopes of those who may follow.