Typically, we are the ones who tend to leave the toilet seat up, fail to listen to your concerns and become less affectionate with time. However, this does not absolve you of your role in petty arguments. From time to time, it’s natural to have little disagreements to keep things interesting (great makeup sex!). But let’s not get carried away. Certain things can be avoided.
1. Checking his cell phone
It’s mind boggling how a lady can trust a man with her savings but finds it difficult to grant him exclusive access to his cell phone. What exactly are you hoping to find? I am not saying that you won’t be tempted to take a sneak peek if your partner is taking a shower in the night and the phone vibrates. We are all guilty of that at some point (Except me 🙂 ). Anyhow, try not to audition for the role of Sherlock Holmes in your relationship. Trust is foundation of a meaningful association.
2. “How does this dress look?”
It’s a little unfair to take a few hours to get ready and then ask your boyfriend “Do you think I should wear something else?” Here is the problem: there are two answers YES and NO. If he says yes… he has earned himself a slap. If he says no … then the imminent question will follow “Are you sure?”
Look, if you genuinely want his opinion, observe his reaction. Besides, for him it doesn’t matter how well the designer made the spaghetti straps…he should be too preoccupied with your beauty to notice.
Say what you want about mirrors, but they are fairly accurate (unlike dem damn cameras! … especially when you’re taking a selfie… u zimme).
3. Expect him to read your mind
If he did something that is bothering you … say it to him. For men, it is easier to figure out Fermat’s Last Theorem than to understand what’s going on in your head.
4. Drift apart from your girlfriends
Everybody knows that your boyfriend is the greatest thing since sliced bread. All your updates serve as a constant reminder to everyone who has access to the internet. It’s great that you found a keeper but your relationship will only survive if you have girlfriends. You both need s p a c e from each other. It’s healthy… like a Subway sandwich.
5. The Food Dilemma
Boyfriend: “Babes… I’m going to get something from Wendy’s…. Would you like anything?”
Girlfriend: “No thanks… I’m not hungry”
Fifteen minutes later, he returns with a combo that he is very eager to consume. On the way home, his appetite fell in love with the smell of the burger. Hopefully, the meal is filling because he is starving. As he unwraps the burger, you sheepishly ask for a bite. It doesn’t stop there.
* Please note that we don’t mind sharing but we asked you if you wanted something 🙂
6. Demand an explanation on spot
Men are capable of making mistakes. Leaving the fridge door open, forgetting your anniversary, forgetting the clothes in the dryer. I am joking about the anniversary comment… if he forgets such an important day then you should leave a pillow on the couch for him. Anyway, on a serious note, we can’t always respond immediately to minor infringements when you call. We are not necessarily avoiding the topic but sometimes we may just be in the middle of a conversation with friends, completing an assignment for work or in the middle of an intense work-out session.
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Ok I agree with some of your points but are you serious with # 2, 5 and 6 to a minor degree?
I don’t know what kind of women you are socializing with, but if I ask for an opinion – it’s because I want an honest answer.
Then the food thing – dude, just get 2 to begin with or an extra large something and don’t be a greedy Gus – if she doesn’t eat it then, you can always have it later.
Finally – communicate better – say I can’t answer now, may we discuss this later. That’s the real problem – how will she know if it’s a bad time – if you don’t say that – I go back to your point – woman can’t read minds either.
Still interesting read 🙂
Actually, on point #2 maybe you and I want an honest answer. Some women ask for the sake of asking and then vex when they get a response they didn’t expect (yes, some of us women hard to deal with sometimes). Same principle for the “Food Dilemma” – by now my husband knows to just but 2 meals or super size but truthfully it is not reasonable to say ” I’m not hungry” and expects that he’ll get you something nonetheless. It’s a little unfair (me thinks :))
I totally agree with your last point. It’s a MAN thing I swear. I have that ‘fight’ with my hubby all the time; usually end up with me saying “why didn’t you say that in first place?” They are not really into details like us. If I am out and my husband is making dinner and I’ll ask, ‘what are you making?’ His response “chicken”. If I don’t ask with what? That’s all I am going to get! Switch roles and he would have gotten a menu run down from me! lol
a woman who understands… what a rarity
Well said Elo,, women are not mind readers either.
Hey Elo! …. Thanks for reading and thanks for the feedback.
I think you definitely raised valid points.
In reference to #2 … if you can truly handle his opinion (regardless of what he says) … then by all means.. go ahead… but you cant go wrong with his reaction.
In reference to #5 … Guess that’s an option for us to explore… lololol…. but it is much easier if a lady makes up her mind about what she wants to eat.
In reference to #6 … Some guys will agree that there are times when “may we discuss this later” just wont work…. Of course, it depends on what the problem is, how annoyed she is, how often does this problem occur etc.
Dude you are spot on … keep up the good work …
Thanks bro! … I appreciate it.
Kool nuh – maybe it’s because I’m so guilty of the food thing then – I never know what I want or want nothing until I smell the food – lol
My way to deal with this is – I tell fellow to surprise me, then I list the things I don’t eat – it’s a pretty short list so I think it works.
I get that women do things that we can’t really answer for which is true, but time and time again when someting occurs the feedbacks are basic ally saying in life women are women so we should know everything. we should know to keep the seat down, know that ok our anniversary is this time and bdays are that time, etc. Men on the other hand, oh there men so they are gonna do this and that. Why is it always expected that women should always know whats right but oh for the men the don’t have to, ur a guy it’s expected!! Just like how women show interest men should too. If I can do and remember things y can’t he? Men aren’t dumb! So y do they act that way at times!!
I agree 100% that men should definitely get their acts together in relationships and show interest … I have written articles to address some of our shortcomings (feel free to check them out when you have time).
There are no excuses for men to act the same way all the times (especially if you have raised a concern about a particular issues which is easy to correct)… we can always do better and we should always try to do better.
Dwl I swear my bf gets so upset with me for number 5 because he says I always say no when he ask but when he sit down to enjoy what ever it is that I Didnt want I’m asking for a bite and end up wanting it all
LOLOL … its hard to smell food and not want it… Guess you can just make a big effort next time he asks and just go for a meal 🙂
Simply and easily said…….doubt you could say it any better.
Thanks Andre…good to hear.
Like #5 lol it’s so true that SOME women say that & then we smell the food & all of a sudden we are eating out his food. I’ve been guilty of that but some need to be considerate. His big Wendy’s combo turn into a kiddy meal for the guy, like no eat two fries and go make something else to eat or just smell and have self control resist the urge to eat. Let him enjoy his food. You didn’t want it till u smelt it. Great read tho. Keep it up Chris 🙂
A lady could have easily made the dinner more fulfilling for him by just making a decision 🙂 🙂
Thanks for encouragement… have a good day.
This was amusing and I absolutely agree with most of it. Especially no. 1. I love my privacy and if you can’t trust me we are not going to work out. If I feel the need to go through your phone because you are acting shady I’m just going to confront you. I don’t have time to play detective.
As for no. 2 I would only ask that question if I want to compliment the outfit of my boyfriends. However, i don’t take two hours to get ready.
I laughed at no. 5 because I do that with everyone… boyfriends, girlfriends, brothers… everyone. So people know now that when it comes to food just get me something anyway.
I am guilty of demanding an answer on the spot because if we discuss it later that gives you the opportunity to lie…. so I want to know now!! lol
Hey Sade! … thanks for taking the time to provide feedback… loved it!
Lololololol @ the fact that you don’t take 2 hours to get ready 🙂
Yeah… I understand that some people may take the time to “figure” out a nice explanation. But we are not all liars (or deceivers) and we could just really not be in a position to answer at them moment. Sometimes its kind of awkward to be talking about something private when other people are around.
I agree with you and I had to laugh at #5. Sometimes I have to use self restrain when it comes on to food. I found that when I got something for that person, I end up drinking some before he does or eating out half the fries if it is fast food.
As for #2, I respect a man’s opinion. My bro would give me his opinion on what I wear, if it is too revealing or I should change. Mirrors are there but an honest opinion is better.
#1 and #4 is a definite. I would not go snooping through phones nor social media pages. That is his page, and his personal thing so I have to trust him. If there is no trust, then why be in the relationship. Space is definitely needed and friends time was needed. I need me time with my girls to do what ever we want to do (within context) and I needed a little R and R with things that I love doing. Like I always told my ex, there is you, me and us. You need you time, I need me time and we need us time. If we continue to have we time without havng you or me time, then we would unravel because there need to be time that we need to connect with other things we love.
lololololol @ you drinking some of the juice ..I am a little guilty of that myself … thanks for showing me up 🙂
in reference to #2, If you can handle the honest opinions… then go ahead and ask (but be sure u can handle the truth).
Certainly agree with what you said about #1 and #4 … very well said 🙂
sigh…for the millions of years that man has been on earth, and up to this time with technology…we still cant get this shit right -_- ughhh..
We all make errors… but we can always improve in relationships 🙂 .. both men and women.
Good read, but I too had the same issue as Jan, the onus is always on us women to do this and do that. It is time men realize that relationship is about two persons doing their equal parts to ensure the success of the relationship.
Thanks for the feedback.
I think that both men and women have their parts to play in making a relationship work. So, yes, we need to realize that a relationship is about two persons. This particular article highlighted things that women can stop doing to make things a little better .. other articles that I have written addressed things that men need to stop doing as well as things that they need to do in relationships.
Great read! Keep up the good work Chris! 🙂
Thanks for the encouragement Samantha 🙂
I searched the phone like … regularly 😦 until I got tired and bored of it … lol … And I’ll say info obtained give me some peace of mind. But I’ll admit that there are so many other things to put you on alert that encrouching on privacy.
I hope I get a husband like you.
Hey Lolita… Thanks for the compliment!
lolol @ the fact that you checked the phone til you got tired and bored… but on a serious note, you know that checking his phone is not the right thing to do… so try to resist the urge. Its very important to trust your partner.
I will search his phone if he is acting shady and dishonest. If i ask about a suspicion I have and the answer I get turns out to be dishonest then I will look for the answer in his phone. That wont lie…I agree though that if there is no trust then the relationship is pointless.
Hey Cocoa Lee… i think its good that you agree that trust is very important in a relationship… so i guess you just have to make an effort to leave the phone out of the equation 🙂
Soo true on the food thing
lololol … the food thing is REAL.
Lol the food thing is so true n i realize that a long time ago so what I do is always say yes even if I’m not feeling for it. And it guess the next point to that one is if u get girls something different from what you bought the still wanna have a bite of yours “just to tast it” I am guilty of #6 but that’s because I know that later I won’t remember or remember how I felt in the moment it happened.
It was a nice read keep it up 🙂
Hey Anita! .. thanks for the feedback.
LOL @ your solution to the food dilemma. If you take a bite “just to taste it” … i think most guys are cool with that… especially if you also got something else… in fact both you of you can share each others food… don’t see much of an issue there.
However, when a lady says that she doesn’t want anything and then decide that she is not satisfied with just ONE bite… then that’s a whole new ball game LOL 🙂
Guess you need to try and improve on # 6 🙂
If trust is the key then y cant I use his phone and he mine
Ha! Good article! It’s truth.. I can relate to
this.. but it was so halirious ..
I thoroughly enjoyed reading the tone
and truthful humor. Very enlightening. Lol
1. I have done the phone thing, after suspicions were raised. Phone just confirmed it.
2. I like to get his opinion on how i look
3. Uh… *blush* but somethings are just obvious u know. And vice versa
4. Agreed! Especialy witb the guy who said my time, you time and we time
5. It happens!
6. Depends on what i’m asking. Sorry but if there are people around you can ask excuse and step aside to quickly answer. A simple we need to discuss later or i can’t discuss this right now works too
lol you’re right on the money man, women say they trust then go thru yuh phone hoping to find something (reference to 1),
5. i always buy 2 just in case or sumn she loves (key know your lady)
Simple fix to the food dilemma, always buy extra. It is courteous to bring extra amounts of food and it is your girlfriend you should know her eating preferences. I also am not a fan of eating when another person is not.
good one. 🙂 enjoyed the read.
This is a good article and there are certainly quite a few truths in it.
Sometimes we ‘beat up’ on men unneccessarily; we (both sexes) also have preconceived notions of what male and female roles should be OR what is expected OR what is typical. Truth is while, there are behaviours that can be ascribed to “typical male behaviour” or “typical female behavior”; in the end, we are individual persons with different socialization/backgrounds, personalities and our own values/standards. #my2cents 🙂
WOW!!!!!! am like totally speechless… everything you just say is absolutely true… I will stop from now on…
well yes ,i agree this reminds me of my mom she hates when my dad leaves the seat up an squezess the toothpaste in the middle among other little bity tings ,an the anniversary ting my dad since i know him he always remembers there anniversary the next day after ,hmmm its somting elce how relationships can go, enjoyed this one ,keep up the great work ,keeep it exciting.
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LOL the food thing… eventually you’ll know that we’re going to ask. I wasn’t hungry then, but now I’m hungry now. Sue me. Plus Marc does this too. We have this unspoken rule in our house. Whenever we get something to eat we get for two. Even it it’s walking to the kitchen and grabbing a snack. We know we’re both going to pick off each other.
Lol about the food!…….soooo true tho…………..you have real insight Chris
Lol. My husband is guilty of number 5. Even when I’ve cooked and am going to dish out food he’s not ready for his and yet eats out most of mine. It annoys me to no end. Then he has the gall to say that my food always tastes better. Lol
Although to be fair he always shares everything with me. Even when he goes to a function he brings back whatever he gets for me. Lol
completely agree with #1. Trust is of utmost importance in a relationship.
omg to #3. Biggest misconception women (and men) go through. Mind reading, it works sometimes… a few times, but never always. Communication is the master key.
on the fence about #5. She’s not hungry, but she will be when she sees u eating your sandwich. Truth is she should have spoken what she really felt but you could get another sandwich in case she changes her mind.