Month: March 2014

1. When you are comfortable with your body

At the pool, we really love the sarong that you’re wearing because it complements your skin tone. We love it even more when you take it off. When you effortlessly remove it without glancing in our direction, reach in your bag for some sun block and rub it on your body … then we would prefer to know your name than to win the Spanish Christmas Lottery.

If you are not comfortable with your body, it’s going to be hard for us to be comfortable with it.

2.  When you are elusive

I am not referring to that hard-to-get bullshit. I just mean that when we text you… it’s kind of exhilarating when you take an hour to respond (while we anxiously look at our cell phones). When a guy is courting you, try not to reply too soon to his message. He will appreciate you more if you let him wait a little. If you went out on a date to an exquisite restaurant… I’m pretty sure that if the food was served a minute after you were seated… then it would not be as pleasurable.

Disclaimer: If you know that we are playing video games, please respond promptly… it affects our concentration and nobody likes to lose in FIFA.

3.  When you wear EXTRA padded bras

I am just joking … Kind of.

4.  When you are well-informed

Intelligence is an aphrodisiac for most men.  So whether you are in the library pulling an all-nighter for a final exam tomorrow or you’re reading a Mills and Boon novel on the train. It’s sexy. Reading is synonymous with knowledge… so if you’re ever interested in getting a guy’s attention… just cross your legs and put on a pair of reading glasses.

5.  When you are decisive

When you begin to tell us something but after a few words…you say “actually… ahm… Don’t worry” … This is more frustrating than when we think we’re gonna get some good loving tonight but you’re not in the mood.  It’s that annoying.

We understand that you are incapable of making a life changing decision like “What do you want for dinner?” but we love it when we ask you “Would you like to see a movie this weekend?” and you respond “Yeah – Let’s go watch The Vow”

6.  When you live a healthy lifestyle

It’s not that you don’t look fabulous.  You have an amazing body… you got it like that. There are several ways to embrace a healthy lifestyle but eating a container of lettuce is not as appealing as burning calories in a pair of adidas sweatpants. Healthy eating is great but we love it when you exercise.

Every young man hopes that his wife will still be smoking hot at 50 years old.

7.  When you engage us in fun-loving conversations

We like to make you smile but you’ve got to reciprocate. Maybe our jokes won’t be featured on Comedy Central but its nice when you appreciate our sense of humour. When you’re witty… it makes us feel at home.

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out my other articles on the blog (to the right, under Archives).

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

Happy Birthday! … I can hear my 10 year old great granddaughter’s voice but I am unable to really respond. She is such a sweet girl; I wish I could see her. It makes me sad when I want to tell her a goodnight story, but every time I speak, my words don’t quite come out the way I intended. I keep hearing family members say that I have dementia…. Maybe I do.

At 100 years old, my hands ttrreemmbblleee when I try to type. The wrinkles are more profound, the joints ache a little more than normal. I can still smell the turkey being roasted but that’s all I will enjoy. Having zero teeth is a challenge.

Old people like to remember the good times. Every senior citizen is gifted with the acumen to reminisce about life changing experiences…

When I was a young man, I met a beautiful lady. One night, we were up late talking about our insecurities, our ambitions, our secrets. I laid on my back, my head partially elevated by two pillows. Her thigh pressed against my thighs. The rest of her body aligned perfectly with mine. Her hands were folded and rested against my chest which served as a cushion for her chin. At first, I felt vulnerable talking about really sensitive issues but I became more open as I was rewarded with a kiss for every concern that I confessed. I spoke, she listened. She spoke, I listened.

We both had an early morning, so we shared a goodnight kiss and naturally fell into the cuddle position. I think I was in deep sleep because even though my body adjusted to her shuffle, my eyes were still closed. But then, I must have been awake, because for the first time I was able to share the three most protected words in my vocabulary: I love you.

Back in the day, we had the time of our lives. The spontaneous outings were exciting, the adventurous trips were exhilarating, the romantic dates were breath-taking. I deeply cherish these memories but if I could try to explain why my heart continues to beat then I may just experience Christmas 2085.

1. Even though you held the chicken wrap to my mouth and instructed me to take a tiny bite, you always knew the deal.
2. How you embraced my uncomfortable situation as I prayed hard for a response from an employment opportunity.
3. The unconditional support that you provided for….

I knew it would have been too difficult to describe. I want to continue but I can feel an unfamiliar increase in my heart rate. Is there a way to neutralize the impact? … I only wanted to dwell on the positives, but it’s in my best interest to recall the shortcomings in the relationship. I need to slow down my heart rate… Do I have any regrets?

1. I should have gone to more horror movies that were released in the cinemas. It’s just that when I was a kid, Chucky scared the crap out of me. I am sorry for not telling her the truth.
2. I should have come out of early retirement [football (soccer)], so that she could have at least seen me play one competitive game … if I could make the team.
3. I should have visited Seattle to experience snow for the first time with her. She should have been given the opportunity to throw a snowball in my head for all those corny jokes.

On July, 22, 2075 … I read an interesting feature from a world-renowned scientist who was trying to develop a time-machine. The theory was ground breaking, the equations were accurate but this genius couldn’t include the most important component: nostalgia. To manipulate time, you have to be in the time.

As my vision began to fade, I took out a pencil (a writing instrument that was used for centuries but became obsolete in the 2040s) from my souvenir kit and created a drawing for my lady that remained the last image I ever saw.

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out my other articles on the blog (to the right, under Archives).

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

Your side chick will do all the fun things. She’s always excited to go clubbing on a Friday night, she loves to support you at your football games (even when you’re a bench warmer), she’s always down for a road trip, she can uncannily sense when you want to make love.

However, you have to realize that she, too, has feelings. Dancing the night away (after taking off her 5-inch heels) is exciting but she would also like to sleep in your white t-shirts. She wants to be held closely in your arms at 4:00 am after she guiltily took most of the sheet.

You should never take your side chick (a chick that stays by your side) for granted. She deserves to be respected and treated fairly. If you enjoy her company… don’t hesitate to ask her to be your girlfriend. Acting like you are in a relationship is different from being in a relationship. Wouldn’t it be nice if she could enjoy the shriek of excitement with your family members during the Christmas season? Wouldn’t it be great if your mom could show her all your embarrassing baby pictures?

If you are courting a lady, don’t parade with her for showmanship and use her for satisfaction. It’s not fair to just keep a lady around. A commitment confirms that she is special to you. So, try not to be a selfish bastard and create idiocies like “she knows that I like her but we just not official.”

Instead, take a leap of faith and embrace the possibility of endless laughter, romantic engagements and meaningful conversations.  Try to be creative when you ask your side chick to be your girlfriend. Although she may be anticipating the question, let her find out when she least expects it.

For example, maybe you could ask her to fill out a questionnaire for an assignment that reads:

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out my other articles on the blog (to the right, under Archives).

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.