How To Cheat On Your Girlfriend

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IN a relationship, it is important to manipulate situations to gain an unfair advantage. You have to be skilful to ensure that your girlfriend remains oblivious to the truth. Do not feel guilty because she, too, has secrets that will never be exposed. Remember to cover your tracks carefully; women can uncannily sense dishonest undercurrents. A few effective ways to deceive your girlfriend are to:

  • Give her a kiss on the cheek while she is asleep to influence her dreams.
  • Practise how to leave the toilet seat down for five minutes every day until it becomes routine.
  • For a month, secretly record videos of the both of you (in clothes) and when she turns on the TV to watch her favourite reality show — well, guess who is in this week’s episode? Hopefully, you won’t have to keep up with the Kardashians anymore. Hallelujah!
  • Use flashcards to understand why burgundy is not red. This may take up to 52 weeks depending on your IQ level.

A superb boyfriend should cheat his girlfriend out of a dull relationship. The task is unnerving but not insurmountable. Make a concerted effort to avoid complacency; develop imaginative ways to engage her romantically, and continue to reinvent yourself to ignite her passion.

Most men are experts at protecting their ladies from roaches, lizards and bats. Others are generous with financial contributions that provide material comfort. It is easy to purchase a gift on special occasions, enjoy the one-off date night, give her a back rub with the hope of a more intimate evening, etc.

Believe it or not, these gestures wouldn’t exactly nudge DC Comics to create a character in honour of your exploits. Contentment is an egocentric characteristic that will undermine the essence of a relationship. Never be satisfied with the bare minimum. Although superman is renowned for his ability to earn frequent-flyer miles, he is adored because he was able to captivate his lady with the element of surprise.

Embrace the opportunity to think of creative ideas to let your lady feel special. Nostalgia is often the starting point of a magical experience. Let your thoughts meander throughout the days: maybe you are somewhere in the Blue Mountains quivering as her warmth attenuates the mist. A wisp of hair rests on her lips. Together, you pause, and inhale for one last time…

As a man, you need to astound your girlfriend with originality, enthral her with romance, unearth her laughter, hold her passionately. Your lady has a wealth of emotions that will remain untapped if you continue to be monotonous.

She deserves to experience the fairy tale. Dedicate time to let your relationship become surreal. When she least expects it, devise a way to surprise her.

Click on the image below to preview my eBook, THE LAI DETECTOR

Lai Detector

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out my other articles on the blog (to the right, under Archives).

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com

The text is as appeared in the Jamaica Observer on November 4, 2013

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

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About Christopher Lai

Christopher Lai is an award winning Jamaican relationship blogger and author. His articles have appeared in The Huffington Post and Thought Catalog.
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28 Responses to How To Cheat On Your Girlfriend

  1. Tsansai says:

    Very well written, I take it you’re an awesome boyfriend. Keep it up!

  2. I really like this, bcause it does’nt really tell a guy how to cheat on his girl,it actually tells him how to treat her special so she can feel special. Its a thumbs up for me i like it

  3. Krissy says:

    lol … had a gret laugh. Hmmmm nearly didnt read becaus of the caption, but just braved it up … and I needed a laugh.

  4. chrislai27 says:

    Krissy! … Glad you managed to brave it up because if not, you would have probably misunderstood me …. happy you enjoyed it.

  5. When I saw the title of this article I was preparing myself to rage-comment… You got me! Great articles…

  6. chrislai27 says:

    Hey Melissa … thanks for holding back on the rage 🙂 … lol … GLad you liked the articles!

  7. REGINA says:

    great advice! 🙂

  8. chrislai27 says:

    lol… Thanks Regina 🙂

  9. All hope is not lost lol well with you at least.If more men wld put as much effort into cheating their gf’s out of a dull relationship as they wld with actually cheating on her i think they’d appreciate the final outcome.

  10. chrislai27 says:

    Thanks 🙂 … I think couples (not just men) tend to get complacent and routine after a while… so if we could continue to make an effort to cheat each other out of dull relationships… then it would keep things engaging, interesting, fulfilling and exciting.

  11. jerome says:

    i’ve done it already and was successful, few more tips won’t hurt. well put

  12. jose says:

    really like it im sure their is a female version as to things women can do to make their boyfriend feel appreciated

  13. poemsforjill says:

    Excellent article fella! And yes, you got me too! I almost didn’t read it but my girlfriend implored me to, which I found was rather strange. Now all I can think is “how self-serving of her!”

  14. chrislai27 says:

    Thanks bro !… I am glad she implored you to read it… lololol … otherwise, you would have probably just had the wrong impression.

  15. Andell says:

    Excellent example article. I 100% support it and you are 100% spot on with it. What caught everyone by surprise is of course, the title. It was so cleverly thought out, it basically forces the curiosity out of us to read to see the actually context you are coming in. Because I thought this article had something iffy about it from the title and had to read to understand its message. I will try this for the rest of my life and have already came up with some ideas. God Bless You sir, cheers1

  16. chrislai27 says:

    Hello Andell … Thanks for taking the time to read my article and THANKS for this encouaging feedback… i really felt good after reading your message … Glad to see that you came up with ideas … creativity is priceless! … God Bless you as well… Have a good day.

  17. Arvin says:

    He strikes again!Well done my brother…big up LOL

  18. Kimberly says:

    Love this one!

  19. Sean McNaughton says:

    Good read

  20. nushi7 says:

    Reblogged this on The Writer Way.

  21. Charmaine says:

    Loving this article, every girl’s dream that her partner would know and do

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