The Lai Detector

Author: Christopher Lai

  • 6 Reasons to be Nervous with your Girl

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    1.  The first kiss

    In the middle of the conversation, you both become silent. Her touch sends you into a tailspin. For a second, you regain your composure but the moment is still overwhelming as she looks at your parted lips. You try to control your anxiety as you inch closer.

    2.  The first time you had sex

    You think that tonight’s the night… you head to the pharmacy (or gas station) to pick up a pack of condoms. The old lady behind you in the line looks judgmental, so you say to her “you can go ahead”. Now, you’re anxiously looking around the place like you stole something. Why does buying condoms have to be so awkward?

    Anyway, after you finally got the pack… you’re ready! … Or so you think. Throughout the day, you had a proper meal… you also had sour sop juice. You pretty much psyched up yourself for tonight. But when you really like someone, it’s natural to be nervous… even if you’re a stud muffin in bed. You know that first impressions are everlasting and you don’t want to come first.

    3.  Another girl

    At 10:15 pm, when another woman sends you a text message “Hey babe… whats up?”… you know you’re in trouble (even if you are innocent). Clearly, this girl was comfortable enough to think it was cool to message you this late and clearly you’re going to have to answer these questions “Who is this?” “Why is she messaging you?” “Why is she calling you babe?” “So, are you gonna respond?”

    4.  During a scary movie

    Imagine, while you’re watching a movie like “The Ring” or “The Conjuring”… she jumps on you, covers her face and says “I can’t watch”. You know what… f*ck this shit… I can’t give advice on this point. That little f*cker Chucky scared the shit out of me when I was a child.

    5.  On rides

    Women like men who are spontaneous, exciting and fun-loving. If your girl is into doing stuff that gives an adrenaline rush… just go for it. So whether you’re on a roller coaster at Six Flags, whether you’re zip lining at Mystic Mountains, whether you’re jumping off Rick’s café… it’s okay to be shaking in your knees and yelling at the top of your voice.

    Please note that screaming is different from yelling. Screaming is unacceptable.

    6.  When you’re ready to take the next step

    You enjoy holding her from behind, kissing her on the shoulder, kissing her on her neck and turning her around. But more importantly, you really enjoy spending time with her. Maybe you’re afraid to watch The Ring but you’re not afraid to tell her that you love her, you’re not afraid to plan your future with her, you’re not afraid to go down on one knee and ask her to spend the rest of her life with you… with The Ring.

    Did you enjoy this article? Please share it via social media. Thanks!

    Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

    If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

    Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

  • 3 Ways to Define Love

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    A marketing manager jokingly asked me to define love: I told her “Love is like calculus” and I began explaining the concept of differentiation to her. She was clueless and remarked “Huh? … I don’t understand” So, I responded “it takes time to understand calculus, some questions you’ll never figure out, sometimes you’ll feel like giving up…  but when you put in the effort,  when you try to understand the problem, when you never give up… you’ll understand. If, however, you cheat on your exam, you’ll probably get an A but you won’t be able to pass integration (Calculus 2).”

    Then she said to me… “Love is like Gap Analysis” and she began explaining the concept of some fancy marketing stuff…

    At the end of our conversation, she said “my best friend knew that she wanted to be a doctor from she was 10 years old… she was heartbroken when she didn’t get into med school after completing  her 1st degree… but she kept trying and eventually she got accepted. She graduated a few years ago and she’s now a Cardiologist. She recently left her boyfriend because she no longer felt the same way about him… Maybe I’ll tell her that “Love is like Cardiology.”

    Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

    If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

    Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

  • 6 Ways to Deal with a Break-up

    ‘THE BREAK-UP’

    You were certain that they were the one. Your family loved them, you envisioned a future together, you really miss them. Maybe you’re secretly hoping that things can work out again, maybe you don’t ever want to hear back from your ex again, maybe you don’t know what you want. Sometimes, things are not meant to be… here are 6 ways to help you move on:

    1.  Stay busy

    Ensure that you always have something to do. It’s an opportunity to study harder, it’s a chance to become more proactive at work, it’s an opportunity to tick off a bucket list item. I’m not saying that you should avoid thinking about the situation but it can be harmful to overanalyse your predicament all day. When you spend hours reminiscing about your ex… you’re likely to do something embarrassing.

    You may end up sending them a long text message (or email)… telling them how much you care about them and showing how vulnerable you are. Then, when they don’t respond, you block them, delete all their photos and feel like an idiot.

    2.  Don’t eat too much comfort food

    There is only one way to say this: f*ck the chocolates!

    3.  Exercise

    Exercise releases endorphins which will prompt a positive feeling in the body or some bullshit like that. There are all kinds of scientific benefits that highlight the importance of exercise but, basically, when you go for a nice long run… it allows you to buss a sweat, feel good about yourself and think clearly.

    When you’re jogging… try not to listen to sappy music because you don’t want to get all nostalgic. So, if Bruno Mars is on your playlist singing “same bed but if feels just a little bigger now”… switch the music immediately to a more understanding artiste. I would recommend 50 Cent but he hasn’t had a hit song since we were all in high school.

    4.  Don’t discuss your break-up with everyone

    Your friends will provide you with unsolicited advice and it may be useful. But when you have to repeat your story to 20 different people… you will get contrasting views which will make you a confused wreck. Additionally – think how exhausting it must be to revisit your dilemma repeatedly.

    5.  Go out

    You sure as hell need to go out this weekend and have fun. Perhaps, you may need more time to fully move on but socializing with new people can’t be a bad thing… especially if they’re cute. What’s wrong with a little harmless flirting?

    6.  Control your emotions

    It’s natural for you to remember the good times, miss your ex and become emotional. It may hurt you to the point where you become teary eyed, put your hands on your face and let it all out. We all deal with break-ups differently but it’s not healthy to revisit the past too often… it will become overwhelming.

    You honestly don’t want to end up like Christino Ronaldo who cries when he wins, cries when he loses, cries for every flipping thing.

    Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

    If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

    Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

  • 6 Ways A Woman Will Ruin Her Relationship

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    If you have stumbled across this blog, you should know that I recently posted an article “6 Ways A Man Will Ruin His Relationship”. I’ve been asked by readers to highlight the problems that are caused by women in relationships. So, here goes…

    1.  Entertaining another man

    When you’re good looking… guys will compliment you. It’s okay to be polite and to engage in small talk. It’s also okay for you to get excited that a hot guy said, “You’re gorgeous”. But when you decide to exchange phone numbers and justify your actions by saying “he’s just a friend” then you’re asking for trouble. As time passes, you begin to develop an emotional bond with this man… you start to delete his inappropriate messages, you lock your phone with passwords, you think about him during the days, you think about him while you’re with your boyfriend.

    When you have an argument with your boyfriend… guess who you’re gonna turn to?

    2.  Having too many drinks

    Girls night out! You’re having a great time with your friends… you feel nice (tipsy). A cute guy introduces himself, offers to buy you a drink and you accept. He begins to flirt, you flirt back. A few drinks later, he feels comfortable enough to put his hand on your side while he seduces you.

    By the way, this is not a ‘mistake’… you consciously allowed yourself to become vulnerable.

    3.  Making comparisons

    When you constantly compare your relationship to other couples… it will frustrate your man. You don’t need to make remarks like “Why can’t you be as affectionate as Matthew?”  This, however, does not mean that you shouldn’t encourage your man to improve in certain areas but there are more effective ways to do so.

    4.  Lack of trust

    When he was courting you, he used to send you cute messages throughout the day. Even though he was at work (or in class)… he found a way to constantly text you. It’s understandable that you would love him to be as responsive as he was in the dating stages… but his messaging rate was not sustainable. This does not mean he’s becoming complacent, this does not mean he’s busy texting other women, this does not mean he’s losing interest.

    5.  Constantly complaining to your female bestie

    You don’t need to give your friend all the negative details about your relationship… especially if you fail to mention the good stuff that he does. If every time you’re upset with your boyfriend, you feel the need to bad chat him with your bestie… she will provide you with an automated response “Ugh … What an asshole! …”  (And then she will ramble on). All this negativity cannot be healthy for your relationship.

    6.  Becoming complacent

    Your man values your personality, that’s why he asked you to be his girlfriend. But a man also loves it when his lady is looking stunning in a sexy dress. At the party, he feels good to know that other men are thinking “damn dat girl look good”. When he started dating you… you were energetic, spontaneous and in-shape.  These days, you make excuses for going out on a Friday night, you make excuses for going to the gym, you make excuses for everything.

    Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

    If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

    Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

  • 6 Ways A Man Will Ruin His Relationship

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    A relationship is hard work but, unfortunately, we often realize this too late. In the courting stages, you were enthusiastic about going out on dates, you were keen to be affectionate and you were excited to text her every day. The first time you made love, you kissed her passionately, felt her warm breath against your neck and held her closely … now you just have sex to satisfy your need.

    You’re old enough to understand that your decisions have consequences. So, you should be mindful of your actions because they will hurt the person you love… and effectively, end the relationship.

    1.  Engaging another woman

    You thought that you needed space but perhaps you wanted to feel desired. You don’t plan to have sex with the hot girl you just met. You may even justify your actions with statements like “it’s okay for me to have female friends”.  But as you become more distant in your relationship, you find yourself texting this person more and more. You also find yourself deleting their messages because you don’t want your partner to become suspicious.

    If you broke up with your girlfriend (or she broke up with you) … guess who you’re gonna be dating next?

    2.  Having a fling

    You’re happy in your relationship but you just want the thrill of a new experience.

    3.  Becoming complacent

    TGIF!  You can’t wait to get home. After 2pm, you begin to count down the hours for work to be over. However, when you get home, you can’t be bothered to go out. Although your girl is excited to party… you’re tired from a long week of work (especially if you did nothing) and you just want to chill and watch TV. You ‘promise’ her that you’ll go out tomorrow night. And the cycle continues…

    4.  Lack of communication

    You discuss all the financial obligations: internet bill, mortgage payments, vacation costs.  However, you’re not really interested in talking about her insecurities… you’re not really interested in finding out if she is achieving her career goals… you’re not really interested in asking “how was your day?”

    5.  Make an issue when she earns more than you

    You fail to realize that your ego is inextricably linked to the success of your relationship. At first you were cool with dating someone who is more established than you… but after a while… you resent the fact that she earns more than you. Although she may not throw it in your face, your inability to provide certain things eventually affects your self-worth… which in turn leads to arguments because you become jealous when she hangs out with people who you perceive to be more successful than you are.

    6.  Make an issue when you earn more than her

    She’ll enjoy a romantic dinner at a swanky restaurant, waking up in a nice hotel overlooking the beach and being able to buy designer clothes. But it’s not so lovely when you constantly remind her that you’re the breadwinner. It begins with the little condescending remarks such as “Turn off the light… I’m the one who has to pay the bill”. You’ll slowly eat away at her pride and inevitably crush her self-esteem.

    Click here to find out the 6 Ways A Woman Will Ruin Her Relationship

    Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

    Thanks for reading! If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

    Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

  • 5 Reasons Why You Should Argue With Your Boyfriend

    Heated argument

    1.  When he’s complacent

    Sometimes we can be difficult. Or maybe I should rephrase: most times we can be difficult… especially after the courting phase is over. When we were trying to sleep with you for the first time… we would never leave the toilet seat down, we would never make an excuse for going out, we would never be too busy to check up on you.

    2.  To have great make-up sex

    After a heated argument, he inches a little closer, puts his arm around you and says “I’m sorry”. You’re hoping that he kisses you… but when he does… you pause and say “I hate you”. All of a sudden, you’re in a rush to take off his clothes and he is in a greater rush to take off yours.

    Gentlemen, if you’re reading this article… in all the excitement… be mindful of your neighbours. Make-up sex is really important and it’s always very loud. If you’re doing a good job, your neighbours will hear the first sound that she makes (especially if she is a screamer). You don’t want all the excitement to stop after a minute because your neighbours will know you’re a wasteman.

    3.  To have a debate

    From those women who skillfully maneuver their bodies on poles to those who sit on the top floor of a Fortune 500 company… intelligence is an aphrodisiac. In a relationship, they’re some topics you’ll never agree on (politics, economics, sports etc) but to hear him argue his point with facts, to listen to his witty analysis, to be blown away by his insights… that’s a big turn on.

    4.  Because it’s better than the silent treatment

    When we do something wrong… you should yell “you’re an asshole”, head towards the bedroom and start breaking shit… just kidding. Seriously though, it’s not that we like the bickering but some of us prefer it to the silent treatment

    When you’re silent, it’s like we are taking an important exam… we know the answer to the final question… but when we glance at our watch and realize that we only have a minute left … we get really tense, nervous and confused. It’s that frustrating!

    Actually, ignore this point, because I’m confused…. And, now, I don’t know which is worse: arguing or silent treatment.

    5.  To be competitive

    You’re competing against him in a game. You’re pretty confident in your abilities and you tell him “I’m gonna kick your ass”. Clearly, he thinks he’s more athletic (or more knowledgeable), so he makes a condescending remark in jest. You’re infuriated by his arrogance, so you give it your best shot to ensure that you come out victorious.

    They’re two possible outcomes: WIN or LOSE. If you win… you get to laugh at him. If you lose… he will tease you, hug you and give you a big kiss while you pretend to be mad. Maybe it’s better to let him win.

    Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

    If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

    Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

  • 5 Things That Will Make Your Girl Cry

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    1.  Romance

    It’s important to go on date nights… just like you did in the courting stages.  But from time to time, make an effort to do something different in your relationship. A change of scenery can set the mood for an exhilarating evening. Maybe you’re in the mountains, holding her from behind… watching the sun set.  As you give her a gentle kiss on the shoulder, she’ll sigh and glance to the right. When you turn her around, place your hand on her face and affectionately kiss her… a tear will begin to form as she quivers in your arms.

    2.  Laughter

    You did something silly… really silly… and she’s laughing uncontrollably. You’re kind of embarrassed (not really) and you warn her to stop making fun of you. Clearly she’s not going to stop, so you’re forced to playfully throw a pillow at her.  She grabs it and smacks you in the head. After an intense pillow fight (that she won)… you both lie on your backs… laughing hysterically till you cry. As the laughter begins to subside… she moves closer to you… and begins to tickle your side… round 2.

    3.  Stress

    She’s not where she wants to be in her career, she’s working out hard but can’t lose her desired weight, she’s making more of an effort in the relationship than you are. On the surface, she seems to be handling everything okay but you notice that she’s going through a very difficult time. Engage her in a conversation that will give her a chance to let it all out. At first, she may be a little reserved but she’ll become more open as you hold her closely and give her a kiss on the forehead. When she brings up the most sensitive issue… all the tears that have been restrained will run its natural course.

    4.  Disagreement

    In a relationship, arguments are inevitable. However, sometimes, we let things escalate because we’re insensitive. We have to make our point, so we end up saying some really hurtful things. We let it get to the point where she screams “You’re an a*shole”, walks out of the room and slams the door.

    5.  Bad news

    It’s really early in the morning… maybe 3:00am. She tried to restrain her tears because she didn’t want to wake you up but the pain became too overwhelming. When the doctor began the conversation by saying “I’m not really sure how to say this”… you both knew the end was nearing.

    She’s going to miss her family member dearly and there’s nothing you can do to change the situation. You’ve always protected her from everything… but now you lay helpless in bed.  At this point, you realize that you have to be at your strongest. You have to support her with your emotions, you have to support her with your strength, you have to support her with your presence.

    Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

    If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

    Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

  • 5 Types Of Kisses You Should Do More Often With Your Girl

    kiss

    1. The road kiss

    You’re driving along a main road, having a random conversation, when one of her favorite songs begin to play. As she glances out the window and begins to sing the chorus…. hold her hand, bring it close to you and kiss it.

    Never let anything ruin the moment… not even the policeman who’s pulling you over, the annoying taxi man who keeps blowing the blasted horn or the goat crossing the road.

    2. The forehead kiss

    They’re times when your girlfriend is going through a lot. It could be a death in the family, an unexpected pregnancy, stress at work. You’re probably not in a position to really change the situation… but as she exposes her personal issues, she will become teary-eyed and rest her head on your chest… a gentle kiss on the forehead will help to make her feel better.

    3. The dream kiss

    When she is sleeping for 8 hours, scary things can happen in her dreams. She could be free falling, she might be chased by a monster, she may suffer from paralysis. Researchers have done all kinds of studies (yawn) to explain the reasons for common types of dreams… but if you want to be her prince in shining armor… if you want to protect her from a giant roach… if you want to be canoodling atop the Grand Canyon… give her a kiss on the cheek when she’s asleep to influence her dream.

    4. The food kiss

    We love it when our girlfriends look stunning in her favourite dress (even though we can’t wait to take it off). Her handbag matches her shoes, her nails complement her outfit, her lipstick is bright red and is going to mess up your face. If she thinks it funny to smudge your face… then it should equally funny to kiss her with cake icing or ice cream all over your mouth.

    5. The bedroom kiss

    The ambient light from the room is just right… you can see her silhouette. So, help her to take off her top and fling it across the room… and then… pause for a moment, take a deep breath, and passionately kiss her while you unstrap her bra with one hand.

    Don’t ever use two hands to remove a bra… it’s almost as embarrassing as when you are ‘anxious’ and only last a minute.

    Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

    Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

  • 5 Things That Women Should Consider When Getting Ready To Go Out

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    1.   Going to the hairdresser

    When you leave the beauty salon… you look great … but you don’t, necessarily, look your best. The stylist makes you look sharp and it takes a while for your hair to naturally fall back into place. So, whether you’re attending a wedding, going out for a romantic dinner, or passing through a boring graduation… it’s probably a good idea to go to the hair dresser a day before the big occasion… that’s when you’re most beautiful.

    2.  Heels etiquette

    It’s absolutely important for you to wear 5 inch heels to a party. Your calves look firm, your ass looks tight, your hips look wide (This doesn’t mean that you don’t have a great body… but these features are emphasized with heels).

    Anyway, after you’ve taken a few group pictures with acquaintances, hugged a few girls that you can’t stand, and walked right by a cute guy … it’s time to take off your heels, slip on your flats and dance the night away. Men love women who can dance… and it’s very difficult to move with those damn things on.

    Please remember to put your heels back on when you’re going to the bathroom to take selfies with your girlies.

    3.  Stop worrying about minor stuff on date nights

    You’ve got a hot date tonight and you’re really anxious. You really want to look amazing… ugh… so much pressure!!! It’s hard enough to find something to wear to impress this guy… but you’re also eager to impress other women as well. Why do you care so much about what other women think about your fashion?

    Anyhow, if you notice that while you’re getting ready for a date night… you feel stressed out… take a deep breath, look in the mirror, and remember that you’re impressing a guy. Of course, he wants you to look beautiful but he’s not going to notice that your nails are slightly chipped.

    4.  No need to second guess your outfit

    This is the primary reason why you may be running late. Once you’ve decided on a dress… stick with it. Indecisiveness is the devil’s way of trying to ruin your night.

    5.  Overdress if you’re unsure

    If you’re uncertain about the dress code… it’s better to be overdressed than to be undressed. Okay, some ladies will think you’re a little bit extra… and will be sure to whisper to their friends “she’s trying to get a man tonight”. But imagine what they would say if you look pop down. “What is she wearing?” “She needs to do her hair” “Does she own a mirror?”

    Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

    Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

  • 5 Annoying Things Men Need To Stop Doing

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    1.  Try to court a lady who’s in a relationship

    You need to respect her relationship. Not every woman is comfortable with you sending messages like “We should do lunch” … especially if you work with her. If you were a stranger, she could just easily block you but due to circumstances… she’s forced to think of ways to subtly dismiss your intentions.

    Just in case you didn’t know… when you send your inappropriate messages… there’s a 99.9% chance that she shows her boyfriend. If your reaction to this information is “SO”… then sooner or later… you’ll mess with a guy like Luis Suarez.

    2.  Saying “Pssst”

    Please give her a chance to walk through the mall without being disturbed with remarks like “Pssst” “Babes” “empress” “familay”. Surely, your mother raised you better than that… or your grandmother.

    Perhaps one day, policy makers may address this issue. It’s is very irritating for a lady to walk by herself in developing countries. Some of these men are just too thirsty.

    3.  Interrupt girl’s night

    There are times when she may be hoping that a hot guy will come over, introduce himself and ask her to dance. Sometimes, however, she is actually enjoying a girl’s night out and not interested in your charm. If you sense that you’re interrupting her night… try to excuse yourself before her female friend has to come to her rescue by saying “this is my girlfriend”.

    4.  Make an inappropriate comment (after being rejected)

    We’ve all been rejected before… it happens. This does not mean you should take offense and say things like “What a b*tch”, “She only likes rich men”, “She’s not even cute”.

    1. Nag your female friend for her friend’s number

    Okay… So, your female friend posted a picture of her cute friend. There is nothing wrong with asking for an introduction but don’t be a nagging bastard and expect her to give you her friend’s number… especially if you notice that she’s holding back.

    Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

    Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.