Author: Christopher Lai

GOAL!!! … You can hear the wild celebrations throughout the house. You wish you could watch the 2082 World Cup with your family… but they think you’re senile… so you’re left in the guest room and, occasionally, someone may check up on you to ensure that you’re still alive. You understand that they’re busy.

At 100 years old, your bones are fragile; the joints ache a little more than usual. You’re afraid to suffer another heart attack because this time you may not survive it and even if you do … you won’t be able to scream for help… not when you can’t speak.

You’re aware that stress is a major cause of heart attacks but you miss your wife dearly and nothing will stop you from reminiscing… it’s a decision you’re willing to live with. As you begin to recall the times you held her close… your wrinkles become more profound… your body trembles… your grip tightens around the picture frame.

You, honestly, try to remember the good stuff… the spontaneous outings to the beach, the adventurous trip to the mountains, the candle lit dinners. You deeply cherish the nights that you were both up late talking about your insecurities, your ambitions, your secrets. There’s no way you could forget all those jokes you shared together… even if they were corny. But, for some reason, you end up revisiting the saddest moment of your life.

Somehow, you managed to control the tears during the eulogy. Whenever your voice had a slightly higher pitch… you paused, took a deep breath and continued. Strangely, even then you felt the need to keep it all in… still concerned with being macho. But when the proceedings resumed at the graveyard… you began to feel weaker and weaker. As they lowered the coffin into the ground, you fell to your knees and covered your face. The reality became too overwhelming.

Suddenly, there is a sharp pain in the left side of your chest… you’re gasping for breath. You know that no one will hear you… so you fight this battle alone. As the pain becomes unbearable, you’re unable to hold on to the picture frame as it crashes to the floor. Maybe someone might hear the commotion… but if not… You understand that they’re busy.

Always make time to spend with loved ones (Spouse, family, friends). You never know when it’s the last time you will get to share a joke with them, hug them, enjoy their company. We’re not here indefinitely.

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out my other articles on the blog (to the right, under Archives).

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

1. Have an issue with her past

In your lifetime, it’s not okay for you to sleep with over 20 women and expect to date someone who has been involved with less than 5 guys. Truth is… you shouldn’t be investigating her past… but if you must be Inspector Gadget… try not to be hypocritical.

Hypothetically speaking… let’s assume that a woman is 30 years old… lets also assume that she lost her virginity at 18. Do you realize that if she has been involved with 10 guys… it means that she has slept with 0.83 guys per year.

2.  The dancing dilemma

Your friends will be impressed if you’re dancing with a sexy girl… they may even pop your collar. Honestly, there is nothing wrong with dancing with a hottie… just as long as you don’t mind if your girl meets a stud muffin at a party… takes off her 5-inch heels, allows his hands to touch her thighs and backs him up against the wall.

3.  Don’t like when she has male friends

Clearly, you don’t expect her to visit her friend when you guys are going through a difficult time. Because if she decides to talk to him … she may become emotional to the point where she begins to cry.  He will give her a hug and allow her to rest her head on his chest… And, of course, it stops there.

Seriously though, platonic relationships still exist in this world. So, if you have female friends … it should be perfectly fine for your girl to have male friends (unless he looks like Channing Tatum)

4.  Complain about tardiness

Let’s say you’re supposed to pick her up at 8:00pm. If you reach five minutes late… I don’t think you should be annoyed if she needs a little extra time to get ready. After all… she was, actually, ready at 7:55pm… but she decided to change her dress… and you wouldn’t believe what happened after that… she put back on the original dress.

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

Source: Kathrene’s Kreative Kreations

Typically, we’re attracted to women with certain physical qualities. It’s okay to have a preference – just be a man and admit it. You may be enticed by size D cups, you may have a thing for big booties, or you may be a sucker for pretty eyes. It’s incredible to go out with a beautiful lady but it’s even more incredible to wake up beside someone who has your best interest at heart.

1.  She’ll be GOOD at LOOKING after your children

Some of us are incapable of making plans for the future. We envision having two sons and plan to teach them football. We definitely know how to make children (except the one-minute guys)… but what about which school they will attend? Which pediatrician they should visit?  How much should we invest in a college fund?

She’ll be proactive and ensure that she’s making an informed decision to give your child the best opportunities.

2.  She’ll prepare GOOD LOOKING meals

Burger King is really healthy… especially with all that mayonnaise that they slap on the bread. But it’s also nice to have home cooked meals. Sometimes, when you’re really exhausted from a hard day at work… it’s really great to come home to the scent of pot roasted chicken with steamed vegetables. All you have to do is put on some rice and wash up the dishes.

Even if you did nothing all day at work… you still deserve a good meal. It’s very exhausting to watch the clock take forever to reach 12:00 pm… and then after lunch… suffer from fatigue. Then, you have to wait indefinitely for 4:30pm.The hardest thing at work is to be unproductive. I dunno how people do it.

3.  She’s GOOD LOOKING

When she comes out of the shower, flashes her hair, and drops her towel. It’s really HARD to control yourself. Pun intended.

4.  She’ll be GOOD at LOOKING for stuff

We can never find anything (except the remote control). A recent study reported that 95% of men do not know where their Birth Certificate is… the other 5% have an incorrect one like Samuel Eto. Women will uncannily remember where everything is kept. Their memories are, of course, not limited to just finding stuff… so they will also bring up stuff from five years ago.

She will be organized and will save you from scurrying around the place when you need documents for an interview.

5.  She’ll be GOOD at LOOKING after you… when you’re sick.

Some of you guys behave like big babies when you’re sick. Panadol multi symptom tablets can relieve the pain for a while but the support of a good woman is life-changing. She will stay by your bed throughout the night. If you are able to eat… she will get whatever you want. If you’re really really really sick and want your mommy… she will hold your hand.

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

1.  Lose your self-conscious bullsh*t

When a player scores a goal in the world cup, his teammates will run towards him, hug him, and rub his head. Do you know what happens when he dives on the ground?

Honestly – if you’re fine with sweaty guys spanking you on the ass when you make a free throw… you should have absolutely no problem with holding your girl’s hand at the movies. It should be natural for you to put your arms around her at a concert and kiss her on the cheek.

2.  Lose your phone

On a special occasion, when you take your lady out to an exquisite restaurant… there is no need to bring your phone. You’re spending time with her… not your friend who is trying to convince you that “Kobe is better than Lebron”

It’s commendable that you constantly communicate with your friends but do you respond to them during sex. I don’t think so.

3.  Lose weight

It’s unreasonable to expect your lady to look fabulous while you readily pose with a beer belly.

4.  Lose your ego

In a relationship, it’s healthy for your girl to be able to comfortably interact with other men. I’m not saying that she should bruk out to “That bumper is too real… it dangerous” … actually, I take it back, anything goes with that song.

Seriously though… don’t try to limit her social life because you’re insecure. Trust is the foundation of a meaningful association.

5.  Lose your manners

You’re on the computer trying to create a playlist when you notice that she dropped her towel on the ground. You could be a gentleman and pick it up… but instead, you pick her up.

6.  Propose that she loses her last name

You realize that she loves to be called Ms. Catherine Williams… but she would love it even more if her name was Mrs. Catherine James.

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out my other articles on the blog (to the right, under Archives).

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

So you’re out and you see your friend’s significant other with someone else … fine, they have their own lives, they’re not conjoined twins … they don’t always have to be together. What you’re witnessing is just two friends hanging out, having a good time … totally platonic. But as the evening wears on, you notice their body language and you begin to feel uncomfortable … he’s standing just a tad bit too close to her, their bodies almost touching … the way her hand rests on him is just too intimate … there’s a sense of familiarity that you wished you hadn’t noticed . At this point you are thinking “What the f*ck?”

Do you ignore what you saw? After all, you have no real proof … it’s not like you caught them in flagrante delicto.

Before you make the decision to tell or not to tell, I think you should ask yourself:

1.  Are you sure? Are you really really sure?

What are you going to say when your friend asks the inevitable “How do you know?”

Look – it’s always good to trust your intuition but you don’t want to make a bad call like the referee in the Brazil vs Croatia game.

2.   Can you deal with the consequences … the opportunity cost?

Depending on your friend’s temperament, the consequences may vary — your friendship could suffer or worse, you could lose a friend because they chose to be in denial. There’s a ninety per cent chance your friend will call your name and say, “you said that…”

The guilty partner may be able to convince your friend that you were mistaken…where does that leave you? …now you’re just the idiot who’s trying to ruin a relationship

3.  Do you think your friend can handle the truth?  

I know that Fergie said “Big Girls Don’t Cry” … but it doesn’t apply in this situation. Men are capable of crying as well – look at Christiano Ronaldo… he cries for everything.

On a serious note, some people can’t handle the truth. This is something that you need to be mindful of.

4.  Should you mention it now… or wait a little?

Your friend may be preparing for an important presentation, dealing with an unfortunate family situation, studying for final exams. Maybe holding off for a few days (or weeks) would be better. Now is probably just not a good time.

5.   What are your motives? Seriously … What are they?

Is it that you thought the relationship was a mistake from the get go and now’s your chance to prove that you were right?

 OR

Is it that you hate to see your friend get hurt by someone they have invested in — with their time and possibly their heart?

6.  If the roles were reversed … would you want to know?

Mario Winans said that he didn’t want to know… but maybe you would want to know.

7.  Are you willing to give every single detail?

Your friend is going to demand that you give a detailed account of what happened. When the news hits, they will want to know “How many people saw?”  “Are they better looking? ” etc…

WHAT DO YOU THINK … TELL or NO? 

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out my other articles on the blog (to the right, under Archives).

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

Bandwagonists will drink beers, criticize players and scream at referees. They’re often the first to jump out of their seats and celebrate a disallowed goal. But more importantly, they know how to have fun. So, don’t be too quick to snub them… instead, embrace them because their mantra is “What are you doing after the game?” … in other words… let’s get wasted!

1.  They’re over 21 years old and support the champions, Spain.

Unless you were born there, it’s a little difficult to accept that Spain is your team. Or are we to assume that prior to 2008, you just weren’t watching any football. I suppose it’s not impossible for you to be an adult and support Spain… but I’m pretty sure that you weren’t in tears when France scored two goals in the last ten minutes to send them crashing out of the 2006 tournament.

Therefore, despite their second consecutive loss, don’t expect these wagonists to be sore losers… Instead, be on the lookout as they search for a new country with a chile climate, perhaps Germany.

When I was a child, everybody in Jamaica supported the Chicago Bulls (except me, I’m a Pacers fan). It didn’t matter what your economic circumstance was… you found a way to own a pair of Jordans. My friend used to walk about 2 miles home (instead of taking the bus) because he was saving money to buy his imitation sneakers. Is it hypocritical that these days he is updating statuses like “Let’s go Heats!”

2.  They support more than one team

This is like having multiple partners… it’s the worst type of infidelity because you can’t even identify who is the main squeeze.

A young lady recently told me that she supports Brazil, Spain and Germany. I thought to myself “that’s almost 10 percent of the teams involved in the tournament”. But here’s the scary part… you know what she’s going to say to me if Germany wins “I told you Germany would win”… and you know what I’m gonna do… I’m gonna print screen our conversation and email it to her 🙂

Incidentally, the percentage is actually 9.375  (to 3 decimal places – no pun intended)

3.  They pronounce names incorrectly

Look – I don’t expect them to be as eloquent as Derek Rae but they can’t consider themselves to be a Dutch fan and mispronounce a household name like Arjen Robben. It’s AR-YEN not AR-GEN.

I don’t think he was named after the country AR-GENtina (I know it’s corny lol)

Anyway, on a serious note, don’t try to correct a bandwagonist… they will get angry like Pepe.

4.  They know less than 5 players on the team

When Brazil played its first game… they only knew Neymar. All their opinions revolved around the marquee player. Okay, maybe, they knew other poster boys like David Luiz and Oscar but they certainly did not know Fred. Although that’s probably a good thing… because Fred is the worst Brazilian footballer to ever start in a World Cup game. Honestly, when Fred was called up to the team, he should have said “Coach… I’m thankful for the selection… but I’m just not good enough”. Anyway, the next time Brazil plays a game… notice how much he resembles the flintstone guy.

Disclaimer: I do realize that Jo is actually worse than Fred but he is not a starter. And frankly, I don’t have time to waste with Jo.

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out my other articles on the blog (to the right, under Archives).

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

There is no way I could write about “4 Things That Women Can Do To Impress A Guy During The World Cup” and not highlight the things that men can do to make the tournament a very special one. Clearly, we are all excited to watch some fantastic football, spend quality time with friends, and get wasted! … But it’s also an opportunity to make a lasting impression on a lady.

1.  Be Patient

She may ask you “What is offside?” … So, be prepared to explain the rule without being patronizing. To be honest, it’s not the easiest rule to grasp and it would be unfair to expect her to understand it after one go. If you find that you are getting a little annoyed…Keep in mind that true football fans are very patient.

For ten years, I have tolerated Arsene Wenger’s b*llshit. For a man who is supposed to be intelligent… Did he really expect Arsenal to win the league with a center forward like Olivier Giroud? All I’m trying to say is that if I’m still a die-hard Arsenal fan… then you can take a little time to explain an offside rule.

2.  Get your own sh*t

Only a numpty would expect a lady to bring him beer while he cocks up his foot. Seriously, what kind of man sits on his couch and makes a request like this? You and I both know that your mother raised you better than that. Get your ass up, walk to the fridge and bring back your own bottles of Red Stripe… especially if you suffer from cenosillicaphobia.

If you want her to really enjoy the World Cup… you should be a great host. How can she truly be a part of the experience if she is constantly asked to get snacks? She’s not your servant.

3.  Get her a glass of wine

I have seen a few World Cups and the one thing I’ve noticed is that all the championship teams celebrate their victories with Champagne (sparkling wine). So, I think it’s more fitting for her to enjoy a glass of Moscato than to consume bitter brown soda from a keg. The World Cup is a big occasion… and big occasions are only complete with wine.

4.  Include her in your plans

Of course you should watch the games with your friends. Your boys will bring a vibe that will make the tournament that much more exciting. That, however, does not mean that she can’t be a part of the excitement. She is also fun!

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out my other articles on the blog (to the right, under Archives).

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

Tonight… I had 3 or 4 glasses of wine. Actually, I lost count… don’t judge me. At this moment, I feel like my use of the English language is impeccable but it’s probably a good idea to proof read when I am sober. So, when I’m done writing… I’m going to mash up some pan chicken and bread. And of course, drink lots of water!

1. Everything is hilarious

Women enjoy a man who has a good sense of humour. Trust me… after a few drinks, everything you say to her is funny. “Babes… guess what? … I can’t find my wallet… hahahhahahahha”

You know something, I honestly thought that Gangnam style was the stupidest song that I ever heard. But a few months ago, I was at an all-inclusive party… and I couldn’t believe that I knew all the words to the song. And then Abracadabra I’m in the middle of the dance floor, hopping around like a f*cking idiot and singing “woop woop woop woop woop gangnam style!”

2. You leave the toilet seat down

I’ve finally solved the problem! If you drink enough liquor then you’re definitely going to leave the toilet seat down. This will make your woman happy. For years, men have struggled to leave the seat down because we don’t see the big deal. But trust me… when you are down on your knees and throwing up, you don’t want to run the risk of water splashing in your face.

3. You’re romantic

You won’t justify your insecurities by saying “I don’t do PDA”. She is not asking you to passionately make love to her on the pedestrian crossing. She probably just wants you to hold her hand in public or feel your arms around her at a concert. Alcohol will help you to not be preoccupied with what other people think about you. So, you can let down your guard and show some affection.

One time… I jumped over my neighbour’s house and picked a hibiscus from the garden for my lady. I was so caught up in giving her a flower that I forgot about the Rottweiler. I’m not sure why he did not attack me… but everybody loves fun drunk people… even guard dogs.

4. The sex is great

When you are sober… the bed makes a little squeaky sound. When you’ve had a few drinks… all you can hear is BAM BAM BAM.

5. You’re spontaneous

After a few drinks, everywhere is 5 minutes away and affordable. Women like to have a good time and life is too short to be watching Everybody loves Raymond on TV every night.

Disclaimer: This article is not meant to be taken out of context. I try to be creative and bring across important messages in unique ways. This article is not about drinking and behaving reckless… it’s about making your girl laugh, leaving the toilet seat down, being romantic, having great sex and being spontaneous. Simple things that you should do to keep her happy.

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

https://www.amazon.com/Feel-Like-This-Again-ebook/dp/B0DHV3783Q

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out my other articles on the blog (to the right, under Archives).

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

The World Cup is every four years… it’s a big occasion. So you have to go hard or go home. I am not saying that you need to buy him a ticket to see the finals in Rio de Janeiro but make sure you’re biting your nails right beside him if his team is involved in a penalty shoot-out… even if you just came from the salon.

1.  Know his team

Find out which team he supports. If he hasn’t posted a status to indicate his preference … then ask him. Once you’ve ascertained this information, just take 15-20 minutes to read about the best players on the team. It’s also useful to watch a few Youtube videos. When a lady is interested in a man’s football (soccer) team… it’s more fulfilling than when you come out of the shower in a towel and drop it. Actually, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration… but you get the point… it’s important to him.

On a serious note, you can be fairly knowledgeable in no time. For example, how long do some of you really prepare for a job interview?

I have a friend who hasn’t watched one basketball game all season but when the Heats play the Spurs in the Finals… he is gonna know more than Emmy-award winning broadcaster Erne Johnson and future Hall-of-Famer Shaquille O’ Neal. Although to be fair… Shaq doesn’t have a clue.

2.  Represent his team

This is an opportunity to show-off your body without being judged. So, if he is supporting Spain, wear a cute red top and short shorts. Many of you have earned your summer body… so don’t limit your figure to a tank top and a pair of skinny jeans. What was the point of doing all that cardio? What was the point of downloading a Calorie app?

If you dress for the occasion then he may not be able to really concentrate on the game but he will definitely enjoy it more. Make it a memorable world cup 🙂

Four years from now, his fondest memory of the world cup should not be when Ronaldo mesmerised two defenders and scored a beautiful goal. Instead, it should be… when he zoned out of the game because he was mesmerised by a beautiful lady.

3.  Celebrate with him

If his team wins… embrace the euphoria. Hug him, kiss him, jump on him, grab on pon him. Okay, maybe you don’t need to do all of that but enjoy the moment with him. It’s a chance to show that you can be fun. Nobody wants a boring girlfriend.

4.  Comfort him

Only one team can win… so it’s likely that his team may not go all the way. If his team gets eliminated try to cheer him up. It’s a great time to be compassionate… this bodes well for the future. A man needs to know that you can be there for him during difficult times.

Disclaimer: If you happen to already support another team, that’s great. It’s an opportunity to poke fun at him! After all, there’s no substitute for laughter and a little love-hate relationship can’t hurt during the finals… unless he is a sore loser like Jose Mourinho.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out the 4 Things Men Can Do Can Do To Impress A Lady During The World Cup

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.