Tonight… I had 3 or 4 glasses of wine. Actually, I lost count… don’t judge me. At this moment, I feel like my use of the English language is impeccable but it’s probably a good idea to proof read when I am sober. So, when I’m done writing… I’m going to mash up some pan chicken and bread. And of course, drink lots of water!

1. Everything is hilarious

Women enjoy a man who has a good sense of humour. Trust me… after a few drinks, everything you say to her is funny. “Babes… guess what? … I can’t find my wallet… hahahhahahahha”

You know something, I honestly thought that Gangnam style was the stupidest song that I ever heard. But a few months ago, I was at an all-inclusive party… and I couldn’t believe that I knew all the words to the song. And then Abracadabra I’m in the middle of the dance floor, hopping around like a f*cking idiot and singing “woop woop woop woop woop gangnam style!”

2. You leave the toilet seat down

I’ve finally solved the problem! If you drink enough liquor then you’re definitely going to leave the toilet seat down. This will make your woman happy. For years, men have struggled to leave the seat down because we don’t see the big deal. But trust me… when you are down on your knees and throwing up, you don’t want to run the risk of water splashing in your face.

3. You’re romantic

You won’t justify your insecurities by saying “I don’t do PDA”. She is not asking you to passionately make love to her on the pedestrian crossing. She probably just wants you to hold her hand in public or feel your arms around her at a concert. Alcohol will help you to not be preoccupied with what other people think about you. So, you can let down your guard and show some affection.

One time… I jumped over my neighbour’s house and picked a hibiscus from the garden for my lady. I was so caught up in giving her a flower that I forgot about the Rottweiler. I’m not sure why he did not attack me… but everybody loves fun drunk people… even guard dogs.

4. The sex is great

When you are sober… the bed makes a little squeaky sound. When you’ve had a few drinks… all you can hear is BAM BAM BAM.

5. You’re spontaneous

After a few drinks, everywhere is 5 minutes away and affordable. Women like to have a good time and life is too short to be watching Everybody loves Raymond on TV every night.

Disclaimer: This article is not meant to be taken out of context. I try to be creative and bring across important messages in unique ways. This article is not about drinking and behaving reckless… it’s about making your girl laugh, leaving the toilet seat down, being romantic, having great sex and being spontaneous. Simple things that you should do to keep her happy.

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