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The following is a guest post from Taylor Gordon at Trendy Cheapo.

It’s finally happened.

You’re dating the person of your dreams.

You’re on cloud nine with a silly grin plastered on your face 24/7 and nothing can stop your shine.

Except maybe the echo coming from your wallet.

Because let’s be real.

Relationships are not only rainbows and butterflies – they’re also expensive. If you don’t plan ahead and smart you may go broke while dating. A very unattractive position to your current love interest or any future prospects.

Could you be going broke for love?

Here are 5 warning signs that it’s happening right under your nose.

1. You Don’t Have a Budget.

There’s tons of misconception about budgets and let’s just clear one up.

Being on a budget does not mean you’re destitute.

It means you have a well thought out plan for your money. And guess what? All the millionaires are doing it. Living without a budget is just not smart money sense.

So get on it. The easiest way to start one is to make a list of your monthly expenses and your monthly income. Then reduce your expenses to ensure that you have a little extra income left over for a rainy day.

Without a budget you’re going to be spending every last red cent on your relationship – trust me I’ve been there. And neither one of you will benefit from being broke as the relationship matures.

2. You’re Playing Sugar Daddy or Momma.

Emphasis on playing – because you really don’t have it like that. And guess what?

No one does.

Those with self-made wealth don’t become or maintain wealth by spending frivolously. Don’t start off the relationship by buying extravagant gifts to impress. That’s a tough lifestyle to sustain and your partner will expect that you can maintain it. Ditch expensive gifts for thoughtful ones. Need help coming up with some ideas? My gift to you via Zen Habits.

3. You Only Go Out.

Eating out or partying for all dates is a surefire way to live paycheck to paycheck – very quickly.

Especially because you have no control over what your date eats or drinks without sounding tacky (there’s a fine line between responsibly frugal and plain old cheap).

Try cooking meals together and hosting parties at home to meet your budget limitations. If you must go out, research the price of the restaurant before you go. Ensure that all the entrees and drinks are in your price range to avoid the embarrassment of credit card decline.

4. You’re Falling for Peer Pressure.

Do you see all of your friends balling out of control on their significant other and feel pressured to compare yourself?

Don’t.

You shouldn’t be trying to keep up with what they do because everyone handles their financial situation differently. Be especially cautious of pressure stemming from your friend’s updates on social media. The best way to keep up with the Jones’ is happiness, something no amount of money can buy.

5. You Can’t Say No.

If your favorite word is yes, you’re likely spending more money than you should be. It’s okay to say no for your own financial health. And if you’ve found the right partner they will understand that the word no is also to their benefit.

Remember that being a financially stable partner is much more attractive than a big spender with no savings. Especially if it’s putting you on the way to the poor house.

Are You Going Broke?

Now that you’re aware of the common mistakes that can make you go broke in a relationship you have the opportunity to do something about it.

It takes less than 10 minutes to review your spending habits, start a budget and be more conscious about how you spend your money.

And saying no doesn’t make you’re selfish – it’s actually quite selfless.

After all, you’re taking steps to prepare yourself financially to build a secure life with the one you love.

If you have stumbled across this blog, you should know that I recently posted an article “6 Things That Women Need To Stop Doing In Relationships”.  It would be unfair to discuss how women can never make up their minds about food and not highlight how difficult we can be at times. After all… how hard is it to put down the toilet seat?

1.  Stare at other women

When you’re walking with your girlfriend and you glance to the right because the lady walking in the opposite direction has size D cups… that’s really f*cked up. Your girl may playfully slap you on the shoulder and say “I saw that” but deep down she probably feels slighted.

Pay attention to what’s important to you… When LeBron James is about to take a free throw … he is only focused on the hoop. He is not distracted by any of the fans. Have you ever seen some of the women who have courtside seats in the NBA arenas?… Not to mention those Victoria’s Secret model lookalike cheerleaders who can flip and shake that pom pom. All I’m saying is that if LeBron can be surrounded by all those gorgeous women and still focus on basketball… then you can easily walk at the mall and not be sidetracked by a cutie… even if she has a big booty.

2.  Make a big deal when she goes out with her girlfriends

Try not to complain when she hangs out with her friends. It’s not right to be controlling… she needs her   s     p     a     c     e. If you limit her social life… she’s is going to be clingy and then you’re going to have a serious problem.

3.  Be lame in bed

Women enjoy making love… and you must satisfy her needs. The one-minute thing is not going to cut it. Your neighbours need to know how great you are. So, if you require stamina – run 5km, if you need strength – lift weights, if you’re impotent – drink babba roots.

I’m not saying that you need to be a conquistador in bed but I am telling you that you need to do a good job. Don’t take a lackadaisical approach and expect her to be satisfied. Would you like it if a woman turned you on and then left you with blue balls?

PLEASE do not ask her “If the sex was good” … You will never know the truth. Even if she took a Lai Detector test.

 4.  Make her feel insecure

Remember when your girl used to confidently wear a bikini to the beach. Have you noticed that she takes a little longer to remove the sarong? Have you observed that she strategically enters the water when everyone else is distracted?

Some women gain weight over time … even those who workout and diet. This can be very frustrating. So, try not to make cheeky remarks about her weight … another guy may be saying the things to help her regain her confidence.

5.  Tell her to calm down

At 10:00pm, when another woman sends you a text message “Hey babe… whats up?”… you know you’re in trouble  (even if you are innocent). So, instead of acting defensive and asking her to calm down… you need to allow her to vent. It’s in your best interest to cooperate and answer the same questions over and over again. “Who is this?”  “Why is she messaging you?” “Why is she calling you babe?”

No matter how your girlfriend reacts… don’t call her crazy… or else you’re really gonna see crazy.

6.  Have selective hearing

I know you are more interested in talking about athletes that don’t give a shit about you… but, trust me, you should make listening to your girlfriend a priority. She actually cares about you. If she’s telling you about her day … don’t sit there thinking about the starting line-up for the game on Saturday. Take my silly advice, don’t be the numpty who zones out of the conversation.

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out my other articles on the blog (to the right, under Archives).

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

INTRODUCTION

An enchanting smile changed my life on December 14, 2011. The memory continues to provide a sense of nostalgia. I somehow managed to suppress my enthusiasm but my heart was overwhelmed with emotions. That vital organ was supposed to pump blood; not orchestrate the perfect moment. This feeling was long overdue. Let me try to explain the impact of her beauty:

Everything around me began to fade . . . it was like my brain became a Canon DSLR camera . . . I could only focus on her . . . everything else was blurry . . . I heard people in the background speaking English but it sounded like Brazilian . . . my orange juice tasted like oxygen . . . I was at a loss for words . . . you know what, maybe I did speak Brazilian and what I heard was English . . . I wasn’t too sure . . . I was awestruck, confused . . . Is Brazilian even a language . . .  or is it Portuguese?

Eu estava incrivelmente nervosa, mas manteve-se frio, calmo e colleced (Huh? When did I learn this language? Maybe I am still disoriented.)

I was unbelievably nervous but remained calm. I walked over to her with poise and introduced myself with a handshake. Fifteen months later, she continues to make a difference in my life. I am indebted to her thoughtfulness, intelligence and generosity. When I am with her, my nights end perfectly. I yearn inanticipation of one last kiss and hold her affectionately before my eyes close. The alarm may interrupt my dream but hitting the snooze button gives me an opportunity to embrace her for five more minutes. My relationship is surreal.

A boy becomes a man when he finds a companion that will invest in his potential, support him unconditionally, stimulate his intellectual capacity, engage his passions, appreciate his humour and argue over petty stuff. The desire to find a good woman should be his credo and he must have the acumen to realize when she is in his presence. However, identifying her is one thing, interacting with her is a whole new ball game.

The book provides a unique outlook on how to court a lady in several settings. The illustrations will change your perspective in unimaginable ways. How you approach her in the mall is different from how you approach her at the beach. The differentiation is made in all scenarios.  Although The Lai Detector is instructional, humour was integrated to keep you intrigued. You will find it very entertaining!

The names used in the anecdotes were randomly selected to conceal the identities of my friends and acquaintances. My sibling did not want his name (David) to be included, so I refer to him as my brother.

I hope you find a good girl.

Regards,

Chris Lai

To continute reading The Lai Detector … Click here to purchase a copy.

Nobody likes to argue but we all love to have great make-up sex. So, look on the bright side… if you have a man that is boring in bed, it’s an opportunity to transition from the bed… to the chair… to the balcony. Arguments are inevitable but, by all means, avoid doing things that will further dampen your mood and never do anything that you will live to regret (even if he is at fault).

1. Talk to a male friend

Of course your friend is going to be there to listen to your concerns. He may be genuine or he may have a hidden agenda. Most men don’t like to hear women go on and on about their problems but they will discuss your fragmented relationship for hours.

When you become emotional to the point that you begin to cry… it’s natural to want a hug. So, you rest your head on his chest, he begins to stroke your hair, you look up with teary eyes and gaze at his lips… You’re going to make a mistake when you’re this vulnerable.

2.  Eat too much comfort food

F*ck the chocolates… f*ck the ice cream as well.

3.  Tell your bestie (female) your side of the story

If you really want advice then you need to be objective. Be honest about the part you might have played in the argument and represent his case accurately. If you only give her your side of the story, she will provide you with an automated response “Ugh … What an asshole! …”  (And then she will ramble on)

4.  Delete stuff

When you know his phone number by heart… what’s the point of deleting it? When you have to re-add him to Facebook… how is this going to look? It’s cool to delete his text messages if you don’t want to be tempted to contact him first but try not to remove pictures that you won’t be able to recover.

If you ever get so angry that you want to throw away the teddy bear that he gave you for Valentine’s Day… search for your birth certificate as it will confirm that you are no longer 12 years old.

5.  Be a third wheel

There is nothing wrong with going out and having a little fun. But don’t let your friend invite you out along with her man. You’re going to feel worse than Roberto Baggio when he missed the penalty in the 1994 World Cup finals.

6.  Watch Romantic Films

It’s impossible to watch a really good romantic film and not be overwhelmed. Imagine if you saw The Notebook … Supermarkets within 5 miles would run out of Kleenex soft tissues.

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out my other articles on the blog (to the right, under Archives).

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

1. When you are comfortable with your body

At the pool, we really love the sarong that you’re wearing because it complements your skin tone. We love it even more when you take it off. When you effortlessly remove it without glancing in our direction, reach in your bag for some sun block and rub it on your body … then we would prefer to know your name than to win the Spanish Christmas Lottery.

If you are not comfortable with your body, it’s going to be hard for us to be comfortable with it.

2.  When you are elusive

I am not referring to that hard-to-get bullshit. I just mean that when we text you… it’s kind of exhilarating when you take an hour to respond (while we anxiously look at our cell phones). When a guy is courting you, try not to reply too soon to his message. He will appreciate you more if you let him wait a little. If you went out on a date to an exquisite restaurant… I’m pretty sure that if the food was served a minute after you were seated… then it would not be as pleasurable.

Disclaimer: If you know that we are playing video games, please respond promptly… it affects our concentration and nobody likes to lose in FIFA.

3.  When you wear EXTRA padded bras

I am just joking … Kind of.

4.  When you are well-informed

Intelligence is an aphrodisiac for most men.  So whether you are in the library pulling an all-nighter for a final exam tomorrow or you’re reading a Mills and Boon novel on the train. It’s sexy. Reading is synonymous with knowledge… so if you’re ever interested in getting a guy’s attention… just cross your legs and put on a pair of reading glasses.

5.  When you are decisive

When you begin to tell us something but after a few words…you say “actually… ahm… Don’t worry” … This is more frustrating than when we think we’re gonna get some good loving tonight but you’re not in the mood.  It’s that annoying.

We understand that you are incapable of making a life changing decision like “What do you want for dinner?” but we love it when we ask you “Would you like to see a movie this weekend?” and you respond “Yeah – Let’s go watch The Vow”

6.  When you live a healthy lifestyle

It’s not that you don’t look fabulous.  You have an amazing body… you got it like that. There are several ways to embrace a healthy lifestyle but eating a container of lettuce is not as appealing as burning calories in a pair of adidas sweatpants. Healthy eating is great but we love it when you exercise.

Every young man hopes that his wife will still be smoking hot at 50 years old.

7.  When you engage us in fun-loving conversations

We like to make you smile but you’ve got to reciprocate. Maybe our jokes won’t be featured on Comedy Central but its nice when you appreciate our sense of humour. When you’re witty… it makes us feel at home.

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out my other articles on the blog (to the right, under Archives).

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

Happy Birthday! … I can hear my 10 year old great granddaughter’s voice but I am unable to really respond. She is such a sweet girl; I wish I could see her. It makes me sad when I want to tell her a goodnight story, but every time I speak, my words don’t quite come out the way I intended. I keep hearing family members say that I have dementia…. Maybe I do.

At 100 years old, my hands ttrreemmbblleee when I try to type. The wrinkles are more profound, the joints ache a little more than normal. I can still smell the turkey being roasted but that’s all I will enjoy. Having zero teeth is a challenge.

Old people like to remember the good times. Every senior citizen is gifted with the acumen to reminisce about life changing experiences…

When I was a young man, I met a beautiful lady. One night, we were up late talking about our insecurities, our ambitions, our secrets. I laid on my back, my head partially elevated by two pillows. Her thigh pressed against my thighs. The rest of her body aligned perfectly with mine. Her hands were folded and rested against my chest which served as a cushion for her chin. At first, I felt vulnerable talking about really sensitive issues but I became more open as I was rewarded with a kiss for every concern that I confessed. I spoke, she listened. She spoke, I listened.

We both had an early morning, so we shared a goodnight kiss and naturally fell into the cuddle position. I think I was in deep sleep because even though my body adjusted to her shuffle, my eyes were still closed. But then, I must have been awake, because for the first time I was able to share the three most protected words in my vocabulary: I love you.

Back in the day, we had the time of our lives. The spontaneous outings were exciting, the adventurous trips were exhilarating, the romantic dates were breath-taking. I deeply cherish these memories but if I could try to explain why my heart continues to beat then I may just experience Christmas 2085.

1. Even though you held the chicken wrap to my mouth and instructed me to take a tiny bite, you always knew the deal.
2. How you embraced my uncomfortable situation as I prayed hard for a response from an employment opportunity.
3. The unconditional support that you provided for….

I knew it would have been too difficult to describe. I want to continue but I can feel an unfamiliar increase in my heart rate. Is there a way to neutralize the impact? … I only wanted to dwell on the positives, but it’s in my best interest to recall the shortcomings in the relationship. I need to slow down my heart rate… Do I have any regrets?

1. I should have gone to more horror movies that were released in the cinemas. It’s just that when I was a kid, Chucky scared the crap out of me. I am sorry for not telling her the truth.
2. I should have come out of early retirement [football (soccer)], so that she could have at least seen me play one competitive game … if I could make the team.
3. I should have visited Seattle to experience snow for the first time with her. She should have been given the opportunity to throw a snowball in my head for all those corny jokes.

On July, 22, 2075 … I read an interesting feature from a world-renowned scientist who was trying to develop a time-machine. The theory was ground breaking, the equations were accurate but this genius couldn’t include the most important component: nostalgia. To manipulate time, you have to be in the time.

As my vision began to fade, I took out a pencil (a writing instrument that was used for centuries but became obsolete in the 2040s) from my souvenir kit and created a drawing for my lady that remained the last image I ever saw.

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out my other articles on the blog (to the right, under Archives).

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

Your side chick will do all the fun things. She’s always excited to go clubbing on a Friday night, she loves to support you at your football games (even when you’re a bench warmer), she’s always down for a road trip, she can uncannily sense when you want to make love.

However, you have to realize that she, too, has feelings. Dancing the night away (after taking off her 5-inch heels) is exciting but she would also like to sleep in your white t-shirts. She wants to be held closely in your arms at 4:00 am after she guiltily took most of the sheet.

You should never take your side chick (a chick that stays by your side) for granted. She deserves to be respected and treated fairly. If you enjoy her company… don’t hesitate to ask her to be your girlfriend. Acting like you are in a relationship is different from being in a relationship. Wouldn’t it be nice if she could enjoy the shriek of excitement with your family members during the Christmas season? Wouldn’t it be great if your mom could show her all your embarrassing baby pictures?

If you are courting a lady, don’t parade with her for showmanship and use her for satisfaction. It’s not fair to just keep a lady around. A commitment confirms that she is special to you. So, try not to be a selfish bastard and create idiocies like “she knows that I like her but we just not official.”

Instead, take a leap of faith and embrace the possibility of endless laughter, romantic engagements and meaningful conversations.  Try to be creative when you ask your side chick to be your girlfriend. Although she may be anticipating the question, let her find out when she least expects it.

For example, maybe you could ask her to fill out a questionnaire for an assignment that reads:

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out my other articles on the blog (to the right, under Archives).

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.