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Contradiction 1 

She wants you to slowly unbutton her shirt while you leave a trail of kisses from her lips down to her breasts. As you unhook her bra, remove the rest of her clothes and gently peel away her undies… she shudders in anticipation.

Romance is great but sometimes you need to change it up a bit. Quickies will ignite sexual passion. So, when you find yourself in the moment… Kiss her passionately, unzip your pants and take care of business. You don’t have time to get undressed… she wants it right there and then. She wants you to be aggressive… she wants you to turn her around and spank her ass.

Contradiction 2

It’s natural for her to feel vulnerable talking about really sensitive issues. When she begins to explain the most touching issue… her eyes will become filled with tears and she’ll begin to sob. But as you guide her head towards your chest, put your arms around her and let her know that “everything will be okay”… she will begin to feel a little better.

There are times when she has a lot on her mind but she prefers to process her thoughts alone. She doesn’t want your opinion, she doesn’t want you to console her. She’s independent and can figure out things on her own. When she’s good and ready, she’ll include you. So, give her some space.

Contradiction 3

When she gives you the silent treatment… you know you’re in trouble. She expects you to read her mind and figure out where you went wrong. Hopefully, you’ll find a clue when you search your phone. But then again, hopefully you don’t find a clue because that would mean you’ve been messaging another girl and then you’re in for some serious shit. Maybe, it’s something simple?… Who knows? Anyway, figure it out soon because she expects you to.

On the flip side, sometimes, when she gives you the silent treatment… she knows that you will never figure it out. So, while you’re a scurrying around the place, trying to figure out what you did wrong… she’s appears to be calm … when in fact… she’s boiling up inside, waiting for the right moment to unleash. Brace yourself!

Silent treatment is confusing, contradicting and annoying… ain’t nobody understand that shit.  

Contradiction 4

It’s cool when you take charge of the relationship and plan a nice outing with your girl. She’ll appreciate the effort you made… and who doesn’t enjoy a good time.

It’s even cooler when, in the middle of good vibe, you randomly suggest that you take a trip somewhere. And a few minutes later, you’re in a car, on the way to somewhere fun. It can’t hurt to pick up a few beers along the way, it can’t hurt to sing at the top of your voice when a catchy song is on, it can’t hurt to be spontaneous.

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it. 

They say when a male penguin falls in love; he searches the entire beach to find the perfect pebble to give to his girl.

We all want to find our perfect girl, get married and have a son … but if a daughter comes along, we’re okay with that too. Actually, we would prefer two sons [sorry girls, we love you but we can’t resist the thought of taking our boys to go play ball]. But before we go down this path, we have a lot of preconditions for our girlfriends: She needs to be pretty, she needs to have a good body, she needs to be able to cook… and somewhere in the mix, she needs to have a good personality.

At times, men can be shallow. We like to go out with our girl, knowing that other guys will stare at her in admiration. We like it when our friends knock our fist and remark “your girl is hot”. We know that when we’re with a gorgeous girl, other women will want us even more. And let’s be real, who doesn’t like a little attention from hot girls.

It’s simple, you want to settle down, but you also want to have fun. And this is a constant battle.

When you met your girl, you made every effort to make a good impression. You desperately wanted to have sex with her, so you were never too busy to reply to her messages and you put a lot of thought into your responses. You would type a message, erase the message and then retype the message. You wanted it to be perfect because you understood the importance of making her laugh… you understood the importance of making her blush… you understood the importance of making her flirt.  And when she responded invitingly… you did a little jig all by yourself.

Eventually, you both made love and you continued to do so. You really liked this girl, maybe you were even falling in love with her. But after the excitement of the first few months, your interest began to wane. She’s always in your space and she’s getting needy. But think about it for a second… did you think she was needy when you were trying to get in her pants?

As you become more distant in your relationship, you find yourself becoming friendlier with other women.  You are even comfortable enough to ask another lady for her number. It’s not really a big deal because “it’s okay for you to have female friends”. But then you find yourself texting this person more and more. You also find yourself deleting their messages because you don’t want your partner to become suspicious.

When you’re in a relationship, there will always be distractions. You’ll always be tempted to stare at another woman’s ass. You’ll always get excited when a cute girl compliments you. You may even have friends who encourage you to have affairs with other women. The truth is… you’re human and you will become vulnerable. And that’s fine. It happens.

What’s important is how you respond to these distractions. Or rather, how you do not respond to these distractions. Ultimately, you have to realize what’s important to you. If you’ve met someone who you’d like to spend the rest of your life with, you need to understand that your relationship is more likely to last if you both work at keeping the passion alive … if you both keep having fun together. That’s the way to keep feeling desired by one person. That’s the way to remain faithful.

A man who is busy having fun with his lady doesn’t have time to fool around with any other woman. It’s simple, you want to settle down, but you also want to have fun. And you can certainly do so with one girl.

They say a dog is a man’s best friend but a penguin should be his role model.

Did you enjoy this article? Please share it via social media. Thanks!

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

 Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it. 

My grandma owns a standard car. You should see when she drives it into town, maneuvers around the potholes and dodges the inconsiderate taxi men. Last year I said “Grandma, you should get an automatic car because it’s easier to drive”… She responded cheekily “You need to learn how drive a stick shift.” I was a little embarrassed but you know what… thank God for automatic cars. And more importantly, thank God for a cool Grandma.

If you were fortunate enough to spend time with your grandma, you can surely relate to the things that made her awesome! … And if she’s still alive, continue to savor every moment 🙂

1.  The Pocket Money

At Christmas, she would always get you the best gift ever! … unlike that big belly guy – Santa Claus. But the best memories were when she surprised you with a little pocket money. The timing was always perfect. When you really wanted to go to the movies, when you really wanted to order a pizza, when you really wanted new clothes… grandma always came to the rescue.

As a child, you probably took her kindness for granted but now you truly appreciate how generous she was … retirement packages aren’t exactly akin to winning the jackpot.

2.  The Food

Grandma’s house is like a buffet. You eat till you’re full, take a little break, eat till you’re full again, and then have ice cream. And then after all that, you still get food to take home.

3.  The Baby pictures

So you are oh so excited to post a picture for #TBT! (Throw back Thursdays). It’s a great opportunity for your crush/ partner to comment on Facebook “Aww… you were such a cutie.” And, clearly, the more vintage the photo… the more excitement it will generate.

A few years ago, when your grandma was excited about showing you your baby pictures, you were not the least bit interested. Now you meticulously search her albums to find the cutest pic. And, then, you become so indecisive… because she has endless cute pics.

4.  The Advice

Your grandma’s wisdom is unprecedented. She’s well equipped to advise you on career decisions, relationship issues and life changing developments. It’s remarkable how comfortable you feel around her… even when the topic is very sensitive.

Always make time to spend with your grandma. You never know when it’s going to be the last time you will get to share a joke with her, hug her, kiss her. She’s won’t be here forever… so don’t be too busy to give her a call, don’t be too cool to listen to her ‘embarrassing’ stories about you, and don’t get impatient… especially when she asks you to help her open an email.

Did you enjoy this article? Please share it via social media. Thanks!

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

 Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it. 

Greetings Lovelies!

So you’ve just had a big argument with your boyfriend and you’re sulking in your room when all of a sudden he comes in, apologizes for how he acted and wants to make it up to you by taking you somewhere special.

This calls for the ‘Kiss & Makeup’ date night out to rekindle those loving feelings after a big argument. At first, you may be a little angry but then he’ll say something funny and even though you’re trying to show that you’re upset… you’ll burst out in laughter. Tonight is going to be a night to remember and it can’t hurt to look stunning. So without further ado, here are a few products that are budget friendly that I have tested and recommend for that lovely night out:

For Face: I recommend the L’Oreal True Match Foundation ($7.59 on Amazon) because not only is it budget friendly but it also has buildable coverage and comes in such a wide variety of shades. You’ll be sure to look flawless when you apply with a foundation brush or sponge (Beauty Blender sponge is my pick). He won’t be able to keep his hands off you, because let’s face it, a man loves it when his girl is looking gorgeous.

For Coverage: MAC Studio Plus Foundation Powder ($27 on MAC Cosmetics) has been my go to powder for years. It can be worn with or without foundation. I always wear it over my foundation for extra coverage and it gives a smooth finish to your face. This product will cost you a little extra but it lasts quite a while and it’s worth it. Trust me, he’ll also think it’s worth it.

To Conceal: Makeup artists including myself have been raving about the L.A. Girl Pro Conceal concealer ($4.12 on Amazon) since it came out. It applies so smoothly and the coverage is so awesome and the price just can’t be beat.

For Eyes: I personally love the Revlon Colourstay eyeliner ($9.20 on Amazon) because it really has staying power for a drugstore eyeliner and it glides very smoothly. The pigment of this eyeliner is very rich as well and will be sure to bring focus to your eyes. A romantic night will intensify when he looks deep into your eyes.

For Eyebrows: I ran out of my usual Maybeline brow powder and decided to give the NYX brow cake powder ($5.99 on Amazon) a try and I’ve been using it for a couple of months now. It comes with two shades in each palette (a light and a darker one) so you can mix to get the perfect shade for your brows. It also comes with a little brow wax to hold those stray brow hairs in place.

For Lashes: I can’t tell how many tubes of the L’Oreal Voluminous mascara in Carbon black ($5.55 on Amazon) I have bought but it’s been my go to mascara for a long time as well (and I’ve tried so many other mascaras before). It makes your lashes thick and doesn’t clump.

For Cheeks: Maybelline Mineral Powder Blush ($5.05 on Amazon) is a very smooth and easy to apply blush with buildable pigment. It has a very soft and sweet look and comes in various shades to compliment a variety of complexions. And yeah, he can give you a sweet kiss on the cheek.

These are just a few out of the many makeup items you can try out to recreate a soft and pretty date night look.

For more beauty reviews and tips be sure to check out http://www.summerchildlifestyle.com

(About the author: Jamaican Makeup Artist Shelly-Ann Chung has 6+ years of experience working in television, bridal and special occasion makeup. She has also been a beauty and lifestyle blogger since 2009 and has won the first annual Jamaica Blog Awards in 2010 for her old blog ‘Makeup and More by Shelly C.’.)

Being faithful is very difficult for most men. There is always temptation… even when you’re not actively looking. Your girl is gorgeous but then you meet a girl who has bigger boobs and you can’t help but engage her in conversation. You’re tempted to text her, ask her out for drinks, and spend the night with her. This life is fun, easy and exhilarating and that’s the way life should be… right?

But why would you do this when you are with someone who completes you.

When you first met your girlfriend, you were dazzled by her beauty. You were excited to go out on dates because she was so much fun. She appreciated your sense of humour and you found yourself laughing at her jokes… even when she was poking fun at you.

You had kissed a few times before but on one particular night… something seemed different… as your lips gently touched her lips, you felt a surge of passion. You paused for a moment, began unbuttoning her shirt, her hand feverishly guiding yours. When you unhooked her bra… things really began to intensify. You made love to her and unearthed boundless emotions. She laid there satiated… complete. You held her close, snuggled and kissed her goodnight.

As time passed, you fell in love with her. She invested in your potential, she knew your insecurities, she was unfailingly loyal. You got married and had 2 beautiful children… mainly because of her genes. You made an effort to help her achieve her goals. There were times when life became really frustrating and you were not in a position to solve all her problem. But you calmed her down, understood her frustrations and reassured her with your unconditional support… your encouragement made the difference.

As time passed, she became sick, really sick. As the pain ravished her body and she writhed in agony, you felt weak. She lost weight and it affected your appetite, so you also lost weight. But then you realized that now, more than ever, was the time to be strong… to show that you were the man she fell in love with. So, you brought her flowers because it always cheered her up, you kissed her on the forehead because it always reassured her, you tried to be funny because no matter how much pain she felt… she still wanted to smile.

A few weeks later, you’re at the graveside. You wore dark glasses so that no one could see you cry… but as all the memories began to resurface, the tears slid down your cheeks. You tried to be stoic, to control your tears, but when the coffin was lowered into the ground … the convulsions overtook you and you let it all out.

There’s not a day that passes by that you don’t think about her. When you’re deeply in love with someone, being single, living without her, is the most painful experience. You’re heart aches perpetually, you’re unable to sleep, and you can’t focus… life is just not the same.

Death is inevitable and you knew all along that one of you would go first. If you had a choice however, you would spare her that pain … you would prefer to be single … to outlive her. Because for you, the pain she suffered in her last days pales in comparison to living alone.

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

 Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it. 

However you choose to define the term ‘bad boy’ — and there are a gamut of definitions — two things are for sure: One, he’s a gallis (player); and two, he will break your heart. That being said, why do you still gravitate towards them? … like a moth to flame … You know you’re gonna get burnt, but hell, the bad boy’s potent magnetism makes him hard to resist.

1.  He has sex appeal

When he walks into a room, you can’t help but stare. He’s full of swag. You were fine the nanosecond before you laid eyes on him; then he sauntered by, and suddenly your mind becomes entangled with sheets and discarded clothes.

2.  He’s charming

The bad boy has loads of this. He knows it. And he knows how to wield it. He stops to talk to you … yes, you … and suddenly all the degrees you’ve earned, all the accolades about being smart, mysteriously vanish. And you become like that poor hapless fish … you hang on to his every word … you take the bait … Caught.

3.  He makes you feel safe

Somehow the bad boy knows how to make you feel protected. When you’re with him you feel safe … he’s like your own personal superhero … so what if nobody else sees it … You feel it, and that’s enough.

4.  He’s exciting

There’s something thrilling about making a ‘mistake’. There’s something about him that gets your adrenaline going … that makes your heart pump just a little bit faster … your palms dampen. You’re standing, minding your own business, and he pulls alongside you on his bike. He revs the engine ever so slightly and your heart races in tandem, he offers you a ride and you see yourself speeding down the highway … you know you should insist on a helmet … you know what the consequences could be … but instead, all that’s in your head is when to mount.

5.  He’s a challenge

You like a guy who will challenge you and the bad boy embodies this. He’s not a yes man and you like that. Here’s the harsh truth though … somewhere along the line, you start to think that you can change him. Think again … you weren’t attracted to him in the first place because he was the model choir boy … admit it … it was because he was bad. Now, I’m not saying that bad boys can’t change … what I am saying is that he will only change when he is good and ready … not when you decide for him to.

 Did you enjoy this article? Please share it via social media. Thanks!

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

 Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it. 

This article was contributed by Sean Harvey, my good friend from high school. He was kind enough to share his thoughts on relationships from the perspective of someone who is visually impaired. I hope you enjoy!

When you’re visually impaired, people think it’s natural to wonder what your wife looks like. You may think that I’d love to be able to see her smile but it’s more important for me to embrace her laughter. You see (no pun)…. I can listen to the enthusiasm of her laughter and know if my joke was hilarious or corny. And if my joke was corny, well her voice will tell me exactly where her lips are… and I love to kiss with my eyes closed.

It’s great to have a beautiful partner but looks are over-rated. Sorry to burst your bubble… sorry to defy the content of all the fairytales you have read growing up… sorry to tell you that the notion of “eye candy” that you have become accustomed to, when fanaticizing about the person who you will possibly love for the rest of your life… is flawed.

1.  Whether or not you believe it, while physical attraction may be responsible for bringing people together it plays little if any part in the maintenance of a relationship.

2.  When the fuss and fight starts, the toilet seat is left up, the toothpaste is squeezed from the wrong end, or unnecessary money is spent at the supermarket… it won’t matter if she’s beautiful and he’s tall dark and handsome… it’s still annoying!

3.  Beauty has nothing to do with your ability to communicate. If you don’t actively address the issues in your relationship, the problems will get worse and the relationship will deteriorate.

4.  Regardless of how great you look, it’s easy for your partner to lose interest if you’re character isn’t comparable to your looks. They might even become tired of seeing your beauty which in some cases may become ugly as time goes by.

5.  Physical attraction refers mainly to what is seen and if this is the main premise on which a relationship is built are you going to sit and stare at each other all day?

While I’m aware of the roles that physical attraction plays in the maintenance of a healthy relationship, one has to be careful that all the other ingredients involved are taken into consideration when choosing, not sleeping with a partner.

Although visually impaired from birth, Sean Harvey has risen above the odds to attain a Master’s Degree in Social Work (with concentration on Human Service Administration and Management). He serves on the Calabar High School Old Boys’ committee and he’s ever present at the manning cup football games. If you’re interested in having a new writer on board, feel free to send him an email. He would prefer to write on matters relating to his academic background, but he was kind enough to share his thoughts on relationships from a different perspective. He may be contacted at seanharvey84@hotmail.com.

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

1.  Sex

It’s natural to feel that you’re a stallion in bed. After all, you did an outstanding job – you lasted an hour and she made all kinds of noises. But did you give her breasts enough attention? You probably fondled her nipples during foreplay but forgot about them when it was crunch time. And it’s a pity because it may have resulted in a bigger orgasm for her.

Every woman’s body is different and you should know the desired areas that will provide extra stimulation. Through experiencing her body, you’ll be able to sense what makes her tingle but to really know her most sensitive spots… you can ask her.

2.  Her career goals

A woman’s career path is very important to her. If she’s progressing in her career… she may be exposed to bitterness at the workplace (yes – gender discrimination still exists). If she’s not progressing in her career… she may become very frustrated.

You may not be in a position to really help, but you can make an effort to listen to her concerns because you understand the importance of being able to provide useful feedback. Who knows… your unconditional support may be the catalyst she needs to keep pushing.

3.  Her future plans (marriage, children etc.)

Sometimes it’s difficult to approach this topic without coming off as being clingy. But if you’re serious about this girl, it’s good to know her plans for the future. Perhaps you can initiate a light-hearted conversation with her and then broach the all-important subject.

4.  How to keep the spark alive

We tend to get complacent in our relationship. It’s not that we lose interest (or love the person any less) but it’s natural to become comfortable. These days, when you have sex, she no longer feels sexy. When she wears her favourite dress, she no longer feels beautiful.

It’s important to communicate with your lady love, to be reminded of the things you need to do to keep the sparks alive. You see, if you ever lose the passion in your relationship, then it’s like watching a football game, and your team is losing by 5-0.

I recently met a very old couple (in their 70s). They were all bubbly and cute. When I asked the man “How do you remain in love for so long?” … he responded “As long as I’m able to kiss my wife, I will do so with meaning” (Then he proceeded to show me what he meant… and I was scratching my head, acting like it wasn’t awkward)

5.  Your insecurities

I understand the need to be macho around your friends; we’re all guilty of that. There’s nothing like drinking a Guinness, chatting shit, and cussing up bad words. But as a man, you also go through difficult times. These issues may affect your demeanour and effectively, destabilize your relationship.

Maybe you can discuss your personal problems with your bredrin dem (male friends) but you won’t feel comfortable enough to delve into the most sensitive issue. But when you’re with a good woman, you can let down your guard and let her know what’s really bothering you… without feeling self-conscious.

Please note that you don’t have to be a big cry baby like Neymar Jr but that’s between you and your woman.

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Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

https://www.amazon.com/Feel-Like-This-Again-ebook/dp/B0DHV3783Q

If you have any questions, feel free to email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

 Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it. 

 

1.  The behind hug

Sometimes a woman just has a lot on her mind. Initially, the problem was trivial but as she began to overthink, as she began to overanalyse, she begins to complicate things… the simple problem now becomes a big stress.

You may not have the solution but when you randomly catch her in a daze… hug her from behind, breathe a little in her neck, and then kiss her on the shoulder. She’ll sense that you care about her in ways that words can’t explain. And when she closes her eyes and inhales… she’ll want you to turn her around, push aside that errant wisp of hair and kiss her tenderly.

2.  The party hug

It’s Friday evening, and you took your girl out to dance the night away. You’re both having a great time; dancing to upbeat music that requires her to back you up against the wall. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with some good, clean fun. But when the Deejay slows down the music … you motion her to turn around. And when the Deejay plays “All of me”, you hold her very closely because you can’t get enough of her.

3.  The dream hug

After you kissed her on the cheek while she was asleep to influence her dream… she was off to  la la land… so, instead of being chased by a giant roach, instead of free falling, instead of suffering from paralysis… she was right by your side on top off the Eiffel Tower.

Then something woke her up momentarily. Maybe it was when you shuffled, maybe it was the chirps of the birds, maybe it was the sound of the raindrops.  But you’re not about to let her dream end, so you put your hand around her and inch closer … she naturally spoons against your body. A few minutes later… she’s breathless from being passionately kissed by you on top off the Eiffel Tower.

4.  The greeting hug

After not seeing her for a few days, it’s natural to greet her with a big warm hug. As she puts her arms around you, surprise her by lifting her off her feet. She’s guaranteed to wrap her legs around you. She’s also guaranteed to smile.

5.  The emotional hug

You’re at home with your girl watching the new Leonardo DiCaprio movie. Okay, maybe that’s pushing it. You’re at home watching a romantic comedy with some guy who can’t act … like the tall guy who they thought could replace Charlie Sheen in Two and a Half Men. Really? Anyway, relationships are about being able to compromise. And even if you, or Demi Moore, don’t find him funny, it’s more about spending time with your partner.

When you’re both snuggled up on the couch (or in bed), it’s really cool that she sneakily tries to take most of the cover. It’s even cooler when she rests her head on your chest. As the movie credits begin to roll, her body becomes entwined with yours. You begin to feel more comfortable, you slowly rub her arm and then you kiss her on the temple.

Click here to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.