This article was contributed by Sean Harvey, my good friend from high school. He was kind enough to share his thoughts on relationships from the perspective of someone who is visually impaired. I hope you enjoy!
When you’re visually impaired, people think it’s natural to wonder what your wife looks like. You may think that I’d love to be able to see her smile but it’s more important for me to embrace her laughter. You see (no pun)…. I can listen to the enthusiasm of her laughter and know if my joke was hilarious or corny. And if my joke was corny, well her voice will tell me exactly where her lips are… and I love to kiss with my eyes closed.
It’s great to have a beautiful partner but looks are over-rated. Sorry to burst your bubble… sorry to defy the content of all the fairytales you have read growing up… sorry to tell you that the notion of “eye candy” that you have become accustomed to, when fanaticizing about the person who you will possibly love for the rest of your life… is flawed.
1. Whether or not you believe it, while physical attraction may be responsible for bringing people together it plays little if any part in the maintenance of a relationship.
2. When the fuss and fight starts, the toilet seat is left up, the toothpaste is squeezed from the wrong end, or unnecessary money is spent at the supermarket… it won’t matter if she’s beautiful and he’s tall dark and handsome… it’s still annoying!
3. Beauty has nothing to do with your ability to communicate. If you don’t actively address the issues in your relationship, the problems will get worse and the relationship will deteriorate.
4. Regardless of how great you look, it’s easy for your partner to lose interest if you’re character isn’t comparable to your looks. They might even become tired of seeing your beauty which in some cases may become ugly as time goes by.
5. Physical attraction refers mainly to what is seen and if this is the main premise on which a relationship is built are you going to sit and stare at each other all day?
While I’m aware of the roles that physical attraction plays in the maintenance of a healthy relationship, one has to be careful that all the other ingredients involved are taken into consideration when choosing, not sleeping with a partner.
Although visually impaired from birth, Sean Harvey has risen above the odds to attain a Master’s Degree in Social Work (with concentration on Human Service Administration and Management). He serves on the Calabar High School Old Boys’ committee and he’s ever present at the manning cup football games. If you’re interested in having a new writer on board, feel free to send him an email. He would prefer to write on matters relating to his academic background, but he was kind enough to share his thoughts on relationships from a different perspective. He may be contacted at email@example.com.
Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (firstname.lastname@example.org). I will either credit it or remove it.
I have always felt that way about beauty Chris, after couple years, how cute you are is just not so important.
#5 says that physical attraction is mainly about the visual aspect of attraction, but it ignores that sight is one of 5 senses that encompass physical attraction. Call it chemistry, or physical compatibility, but it is still physical attraction to be turned on by your partners touch, smell, taste or yes, even the sound of their voice. While I agree that appearance should not be the deciding factor, you cannot maintain a relationship with someone to whom you are not attracted to on all levels. Emotionally, intellectually,and yes physically. To lessen the importance of any of these could be detrimental to the success and happiness of your relationship. I get the author’s point, and definitely agree that neither the societal definition nor your own, of physical beauty should be the be the base of a relationship, looks are over-rated and they fade. Lovely article, thank you for sharing.