Why A Good Man Would Prefer To Be Single


Being faithful is very difficult for most men. There is always temptation… even when you’re not actively looking. Your girl is gorgeous but then you meet a girl who has bigger boobs and you can’t help but engage her in conversation. You’re tempted to text her, ask her out for drinks, and spend the night with her. This life is fun, easy and exhilarating and that’s the way life should be… right?

But why would you do this when you are with someone who completes you.

When you first met your girlfriend, you were dazzled by her beauty. You were excited to go out on dates because she was so much fun. She appreciated your sense of humour and you found yourself laughing at her jokes… even when she was poking fun at you.

You had kissed a few times before but on one particular night… something seemed different… as your lips gently touched her lips, you felt a surge of passion. You paused for a moment, began unbuttoning her shirt, her hand feverishly guiding yours. When you unhooked her bra… things really began to intensify. You made love to her and unearthed boundless emotions. She laid there satiated… complete. You held her close, snuggled and kissed her goodnight.

As time passed, you fell in love with her. She invested in your potential, she knew your insecurities, she was unfailingly loyal. You got married and had 2 beautiful children… mainly because of her genes. You made an effort to help her achieve her goals. There were times when life became really frustrating and you were not in a position to solve all her problem. But you calmed her down, understood her frustrations and reassured her with your unconditional support… your encouragement made the difference.

As time passed, she became sick, really sick. As the pain ravished her body and she writhed in agony, you felt weak. She lost weight and it affected your appetite, so you also lost weight. But then you realized that now, more than ever, was the time to be strong… to show that you were the man she fell in love with. So, you brought her flowers because it always cheered her up, you kissed her on the forehead because it always reassured her, you tried to be funny because no matter how much pain she felt… she still wanted to smile.

A few weeks later, you’re at the graveside. You wore dark glasses so that no one could see you cry… but as all the memories began to resurface, the tears slid down your cheeks. You tried to be stoic, to control your tears, but when the coffin was lowered into the ground … the convulsions overtook you and you let it all out.

There’s not a day that passes by that you don’t think about her. When you’re deeply in love with someone, being single, living without her, is the most painful experience. You’re heart aches perpetually, you’re unable to sleep, and you can’t focus… life is just not the same.

Death is inevitable and you knew all along that one of you would go first. If you had a choice however, you would spare her that pain … you would prefer to be single … to outlive her. Because for you, the pain she suffered in her last days pales in comparison to living alone.

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About Christopher Lai

Christopher Lai is an award winning Jamaican relationship blogger and author. His articles have appeared in The Huffington Post and Thought Catalog.
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10 Responses to Why A Good Man Would Prefer To Be Single

  1. Charmaine Brimm says:

    Oh no Chris, for the first time I have to say “thumbs down” on one of your articles (and you know I’m a fan). I don’t get this at all! Good Men prefer to be single because the love of their life ‘ might die before them! Surely you could use a better analogy; this story cannot be used so general in explaining your topic “why good men prefer to stay single”. Rethink this one please

  2. Annge says:

    This seems personal… Hope you’re okay :s

  3. masterpiece!! now that’s love, selfless.. wanting to outlive the other person so they don’t have to face the pain of being alone.. as such you would prefer to be the one living alone after your loved one is gone.. beautifully written!! *big girls don’t cry* #sniff

  4. Char Lesie says:

    I think this analogy was spot on. Coming out of marriage counselling, I wondered for a while if a life without him was better than the life where he could die and leave me all alone. It is a huuuuuge pill to swallow, but at the end of the day, you still want to spend all the time you can with the one you love rather than the one you like for the time being.

    “Tis a far better thing to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all” . . . right?!

  5. Domonique Brown says:

    This is deep, didn’t expect it to leave me tears.

  6. This was just sad to me…

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