Why It’s Difficult For A Man To Be Faithful


They say when a male penguin falls in love; he searches the entire beach to find the perfect pebble to give to his girl.

We all want to find our perfect girl, get married and have a son … but if a daughter comes along, we’re okay with that too. Actually, we would prefer two sons [sorry girls, we love you but we can’t resist the thought of taking our boys to go play ball]. But before we go down this path, we have a lot of preconditions for our girlfriends: She needs to be pretty, she needs to have a good body, she needs to be able to cook… and somewhere in the mix, she needs to have a good personality.

At times, men can be shallow. We like to go out with our girl, knowing that other guys will stare at her in admiration. We like it when our friends knock our fist and remark “your girl is hot”. We know that when we’re with a gorgeous girl, other women will want us even more. And let’s be real, who doesn’t like a little attention from hot girls.

It’s simple, you want to settle down, but you also want to have fun. And this is a constant battle.

When you met your girl, you made every effort to make a good impression. You desperately wanted to have sex with her, so you were never too busy to reply to her messages and you put a lot of thought into your responses. You would type a message, erase the message and then retype the message. You wanted it to be perfect because you understood the importance of making her laugh… you understood the importance of making her blush… you understood the importance of making her flirt.  And when she responded invitingly… you did a little jig all by yourself.

Eventually, you both made love and you continued to do so. You really liked this girl, maybe you were even falling in love with her. But after the excitement of the first few months, your interest began to wane. She’s always in your space and she’s getting needy. But think about it for a second… did you think she was needy when you were trying to get in her pants?

As you become more distant in your relationship, you find yourself becoming friendlier with other women.  You are even comfortable enough to ask another lady for her number. It’s not really a big deal because “it’s okay for you to have female friends”. But then you find yourself texting this person more and more. You also find yourself deleting their messages because you don’t want your partner to become suspicious.

When you’re in a relationship, there will always be distractions. You’ll always be tempted to stare at another woman’s ass. You’ll always get excited when a cute girl compliments you. You may even have friends who encourage you to have affairs with other women. The truth is… you’re human and you will become vulnerable. And that’s fine. It happens.

What’s important is how you respond to these distractions. Or rather, how you do not respond to these distractions. Ultimately, you have to realize what’s important to you. If you’ve met someone who you’d like to spend the rest of your life with, you need to understand that your relationship is more likely to last if you both work at keeping the passion alive … if you both keep having fun together. That’s the way to keep feeling desired by one person. That’s the way to remain faithful.

A man who is busy having fun with his lady doesn’t have time to fool around with any other woman. It’s simple, you want to settle down, but you also want to have fun. And you can certainly do so with one girl.

They say a dog is a man’s best friend but a penguin should be his role model.


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About Christopher Lai

Christopher Lai is an award winning Jamaican relationship blogger and author. His articles have appeared in The Huffington Post and Thought Catalog.
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13 Responses to Why It’s Difficult For A Man To Be Faithful

  1. Marlene Harris says:

    Well said.thanks for the info.love this one

  2. ashkenann21 says:

    They say a dog is a man’s best friend but a penguin should be his role model.- that quote tho pure genius

  3. Stacey Guyah says:

    Chris, relationships definitely require work and effort; this becomes apparent after the novelty has worn off. A smart man knows that this is the nature of all relationships and will seek to work at his rather than skate off to seemingly greener pastures only to realize that it was just a mirage. Women seem to realize this sooner than men do, guess what why we are the smarter sex (and cheat less)!

    • John Thomas says:

      most women think that the bliss will last forever. they get grumpy and complain about not going out often enough or the marathon sex sessions are infrequent. i find that the more mature individual will understand the nature of relationships in general and operate according to the circumstances. only idiots run up and down because they will always be running if they wont settle down.

  4. Char Lesie says:

    Love the last line: ‘A dog is a man’s best friend but a penguin should be his role model’ . . . truly beautiful!

  5. Frannie says:

    this is a terrible post. obviously the reason this man above wasn’t faithful is because he didn’t start out wanting to be faithful or even wanting a relationship in the first place. Here is some advice for the men reading, the type of man who actually wants a relationship, knows what he wants out of a relationship and are willing to make that known upfront (however women also have a way of also instinctively ‘knowing’ what he’s up to almost immediately).
    To the writer, I don’t know what kind of ‘advice’ you intend to give but on the point of encouraging functional dating advice, instead of listening to your point by point hashing out of how you and other men play the role in order to get in to women’s pants if I were a man I would take would could be your sole point of good advice and listen to a talking penguin instead. Yikes.

  6. Krissy M says:

    More advise plz. Especially for single ladies who are vergins.

  7. sharda says:

    good article.

  8. elaine guy says:

    Very interesting. I love it.

  9. elaine guy says:

    Please send me a copy of this to my email at the address below

  10. pravita says:

    well said….

  11. alicia says:

    Interesting novel

  12. boozer says:

    This article takes a man’s nature and frames it as his weakness. It’s also saying that we lose interest because of the things we’re not doing for her anymore. Whatever the reason men lose interest, it’s time to go. Why stay in a situation you’re not happy with? Could we stay and make things work? Maybe, but not without compromising our own happiness.

    You thought you found someone you could spend your life with, maybe you were wrong. It happens. I see why women love reading these articles. The problems are all problems with the men and the women get off Scott free.

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