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As a girl increases in age, the numbers on her scale tend to follow. Sometimes it’s barely noticeable, other times it’s more obvious. Getting old sucks. The reality is this… chances are, the body she had in her 20s will not be the same in her 30s. And oh yeah, let’s not forget how difficult it is for a girl to get back in shape after giving birth to a munchkin.

As men, we have high expectations for our women. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting your girl to be super-hot. After all, it’s likely you began dating her because that perpetual summer body she had instantly turned you on.  Initially, we’re attracted to beauty not personality.

Now, ladies, I know you’re probably whispering under your breaths “men are shallow”. And you’re right. But you need to understand something. When your body looks good, it’s natural for us to be drawn to you. When you come out of the shower with your towel wrapped around you, sit on the bed, and apply your body cream… our thing will get hard like a baseball bat. We’ll lie in bed, stare in admiration, and eagerly wait to touch you in all the right places.

When we’re attracted to you, we’re also more willing to cuddle. Why? Because we like how your body feels. When we’re watching a movie, it feels right to put our arms around you, pull you close and spontaneously kiss you on the neck.

And sure, we can be a little shallow at times. But let me tell you. When we go out, and you’re looking hot, it’s good for our egos. We like to know that we’re out with this hottie. We like to know that other men think you’re hot. We like to know that other women think you’re hot. Don’t question it. Just take my word for it.

Ladies, did I forget to mention that when you’re in shape, it’s good for your confidence. Yeah, when you feel sexy, you’ll have a certain demeanour… and that makes you even sexier. And this confidence filters into other areas of your life. You may even find that on a whole you’ve become more productive. You just feel good about yourself.

Now, that being said… gentlemen if you’re in a relationship where your girl is getting a little overweight, and it bothers you because you’d like to see her looking her best, or you’re genuinely concerned that it’s not good for her health… here’s something to consider.

Honestly, you cannot tell her that she’s getting fat. Never tell a girl that she’s fat. It would be equivalent to her saying “you’re lame in bed”. And a comment like that would make any man insecure… for life.

So again, don’t ever tell a girl that she’s fat. There’s no need to crush her self-esteem.

You can, however, encourage her to exercise with you. Perhaps you could randomly bring up the gym topic in a conversation “I never know Fit Farm was just $7,000 a month… I think I’m going to sign up.” She may show some interest, and you can take it from there.

Or maybe you could ask her to go jogging with you. And hopefully, she responds favourably. However, if she’s being difficult, you’re going to have to take control of the situation. Tell her kindly “Babes, I need a work-out partner… so we’ll go for a run on Saturday” … You can let her choose the time, that way she’ll feel like she has a say in the matter.

So, ladies, if your man is subtly encouraging you to exercise, please don’t take it the wrong way and make it an issue. Instead, embrace the opportunity to bond with your guy in a different setting, embrace the opportunity to live a healthier lifestyle, embrace the opportunity to regain your confidence.

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

If you have any questions, feel free to email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

 Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it. 

In school, they like to teach us crap like y = mx + c … where m represents the gradient and c represents some bullshit. They also think it’s necessary to talk about subject verb agreement. But shouldn’t education include lessons about real life stuff… like why do women like men who are in a relationship?

So, without further ado, here goes:

Well, it begins with this simple theory… people like things that are somewhat elusive. But what exactly do we mean by this? Well, for example, most women would love a Wittelsbach Diamond necklace, but when something costs US$16.4 million, it’s pretty much off the market. You don’t really expect to have it. So, if they saw the diamond on display, they would get excited and say “this is beautiful” but their interest would end there. However, women will fawn over luxury items from Oscar De La Renta, Louis Vuitton, and Prada. Because although they’re hard to obtain… they’re within reach… or more accurately… they’re somewhat elusive… and that’s a major pull.

Now, when a man is in a relationship, he’s supposedly off the market. He’s in a relationship and he’s going to remain faithful… right? But then he meets a new girl and he’s friendly with her (After all, it’s pretty hard for a guy not to want to talk to a hot girl).

So, given that he was a little accommodating, it’s fair to say that she has a right to think that he may be interested. Just, maybe. Sure, she’ll definitely have an element of doubt because he’s already taken. But this uncertainty will pique her interest.

Essentially, if he’s in a relationship, he’s hard to obtain… but if he’s friendly with her, then he’s also within reach… and this combination makes him somewhat elusive. And as we mentioned earlier, people like things that are somewhat elusive.

Then, you have the whole issue of stability. You just can’t place enough emphasis on stability. When a man is in a committed relationship, it implies that he has been tried, tested and proven. That, in itself, is an attractive feature. Imagine also if he’s the type of guy to be openly affectionate with his girl… wow… he’ll win over the hearts of onlooking women. And I’m not referring to the silly card game on the computer. If he’s comfortable enough to put his arm around his girl, without putting on a show… girls will want him. They’ll want him more than 50 cent wanted Mayweather to read Cat in the Hat. They’ll want him more than Luis Suarez wanted to bite Chellini. They’ll want him more than Bruce Jenner wanted to be a female.

In all seriousness though, the reality is this… since most women are always thinking about marriage and family, it’s normal for them to admire a guy who embraces stability. And when you admire someone, it’s natural to want them for yourself.

Finally, let’s not forget about those women who like guys who ignore them. C’mon, we would never do that. So, here’s the thing, when a guy has a girl, his interaction with other women is a little different. He’s not trying too hard to impress them (especially if he has no hidden agenda). Why should he? He’s already got his woman. So, if he’s talking to another chick about work, or school or whatever, she’ll pick up that he’s not interested. And you know what? This will create a challenge for her. Ultimately, we need to understand that women also have egos. Initially, she may not necessarily be interested in him, but somewhere deep down she’ll want him to at least acknowledge her beauty… whether through his demeanour… or through his words. And that’s where the trouble begins.

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Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

If you have any questions, feel free to email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

 Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it. 

When a girl has a crush on a man and he asks her out… she’ll get excited, call her bestie and say “OMG… guess who just asked me out”.  Likewise, if he’s really into her… and she says YES… he’ll smile, punch the air and call up his homie.

By all means, you should be excited about your date. And you should also be a little anxious; it’s natural to feel that way when you’re into someone.

Anyhow, for the heck of it, let’s say your date is tomorrow at 8:00pm … Now ladies, I completely understand that it takes time to put on your dress, apply makeup, look in the mirror, change your mind, try on a different dress, reapply makeup, and then put on the original dress. But some guys get really annoyed when you’re not punctual. So, if you take forever to get ready, set your watch one hour earlier. And call it DateNight Saving Time (DST).

Basically, when your watch (or phone) says 8:00pm… it would actually be 7:00pm 🙂

And, gentlemen, it only takes 15 minutes to get ready. So don’t mess up, reach on time. Remember, first impressions are lasting.

Before you meet up with your crush, you should find out a little bit about the person. Do your homework — via text messages, ask a few questions that will reveal their interests. You don’t have to get in-depth… you just need to have a general idea. And when they respond… the real work begins.

It’s important to be equipped with knowledge to engage in meaningful conversation. Turn on your laptop, open your browser and google away. You can learn a lot at the last minute… like a student preparing for final exams.  Oh yeah, and in this case, Wikipedia is an acceptable source.

So, guys, if she likes to paint, it would be pretty cool if you ask questions to show that you’re interested “Which galleries would you like to go to?” “How long have you been painting?” And when you’re ready to win over her heart… just throw in some random fact like Did you know that the Mona Lisa has its own room in the Louvre… and the room cost over seven million dollars?

Similarly ladies, if he likes to watch basketball, it would be great if you can keep the conversation going with questions like “Who’s your favourite team?” “Why are they your favourite team?” …. And if you want him to fall for you… you just gotta say something simple like Do you think Steph Curry should have won the NBA… or should it have been James Harden?

You really don’t need to be an expert on the topic being discussed. But if your date is passionate about something, you’ll leave a great impression if you listen keenly, show enthusiasm, and contribute to the conversation.

The truth is… if things were to materialize into a relationship, it’s absolutely important to be interested in stuff that makes your partner happy.  And date night is a good way to show that you have the potential to do so.

Did you enjoy this article? Be sure to LIKE my Facebook page for updates…Thanks!

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

If you need to contact me, email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

 Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it. 

Hey everyone, check out this guest post by Krista Henry. Hope you like it!

As a woman gets closer to her thirties and beyond ‘Why are you single?’ becomes the question that keeps on giving. Despite the many ‘baby mi woulda deh wid yuh’ from the random men on the street, for many an accomplished woman, being in a relationship isn’t as easy as everyone makes it out to be.

After a while self-evaluations are in order as you tick off the reasons you shouldn’t be single:

1) Is it the looks? Nope. Nuh tree nah grow inna yuh face (check)

2) Intelligence (You’re reading this so – check)

3) The sex – come on you can swing off the chandelier if you wanted to (check)

4) And the list goes on…fun, quirky, exciting…. (check)

So if the reason isn’t you then what is it? Truth be told there are a lot of women who for whatever reason can’t find a mate suitable enough; found him and let him go because the timing wasn’t right and some lucky girl went and snatched him up. Or simply spent too much time when they were younger wasting years on someone who wasn’t worth it. Sounds familiar?

If you simply can’t find Mr. Right or even Mr. Right Now, what is so wrong with being single? Why is it frowned upon, written off in romantic comedies as a tragic ending and why is everyone so concerned about it? Is it wrong to be single? And if you’re attractive and single does the next question have to be, ‘Are you gay?’

One valuable thing about getting older is that you know better. You’ve lived, you’ve learned and you know not to settle. You’d rather be single than be with someone who will make you, your kids and possibly your grandkids miserable for the rest of your lives. The romantic side waits on Prince Charming while the independent female side says it ain’t gonna happen.

If that fairytale moment doesn’t happen or happen as planned, learn that single isn’t so bad. Single doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. Being single means you’re taking control of your life, taking the time to be the best ‘YOU’ you can be, and deciding who you want to share it with.

Krista Henry is a former Writer for the Jamaica Gleaner. Follow her on twitter. @thekristahenry.

                                                                                                                                                                When a woman is comfortable with you… you can get away with a lot of things. In fact, she’ll allow you to get away with them. She gave you her body, she gave you her emotions, she let you touch her in the most sensitive places. And when she gives you that much control over her body… you’re obliged to treat it responsibly… and sometimes… irresponsibly.

1. While she’s doing the dishes

You should be helping her with the dishes but maybe you genuinely had something important to do. Well, since this time you can’t give a helping hand, you should provide a little support. And it only takes a few seconds.

While she is washing the dishes, she’ll be looking through the window, thinking about some random shit. When she is lost in thought… walk up to her, put your arms around her, hold her close, and kiss her gently on the neck. She’ll lean back and rest her cheek on your shoulder. And then she’ll sigh… and smile. When she does that… you can kiss her on neck again, let go of her… and Spank Her Ass.

2. After she works out

Every man wants a girl with a hot body… and there’s nothing wrong with that. Now, since we all have expectations… we should also take care of our bodies. So, it’s a pretty good idea to exercise with your girl. After a workout session, it’s cool if you tell her “good job homie”, give her a bro fist, lean over… and Spank Her Ass.

3. Randomly

For absolutely no goddamn reason… if she is walking by, and her ass is in reach… Spank Her Ass.

4. In the bedroom

Pour a glass of wine for your girl, pour a glass for yourself.  After a few sips, engage her in a fun loving conversation. Say something to make her smile, say something to make her blush, say something to make her laugh. And when the laughter begins to subside… take her into your arms… and kiss her lips. Slowly make your way towards the cleft between her breasts and devour her nipples.

Climb on top of her, enter at the right angle and go slowly … go very slowly. As things begin to intensify, go a little harder. And when she begins to grip you harder… when she begins to adjust her body… when she begins to push back… turn her around, go as hard as possible… and Spank her Ass.

Did you enjoy this article? Be sure to LIKE my Facebook page for updates…Thanks!

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

If you need to contact me, email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

 Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it. 

Around friends, men like to talk a big game. They’ll brag about how great they are in bed, they’ll lie about sleeping with a new girl, they’ll pretend they have a big package… even if it’s 3 inches.

When a man talks about sex, he often refers to the physical aspect of it. He understands that, sometimes, he needs to be a predator in the bedroom. With his eyes riveted on her… he’ll move closer, crush his lips against hers, and tear off her dress. He’ll touch her in all the right places while he pushes deeper and deeper… until she moans, screams and trembles.

Whether or not you want to acknowledge it… sex is very important. Men recognize this… and will take all kinds of aphrodisiac a few hours before they meet up with their girl. So, they may drink sour sop juice, eat cow cod soup, or drink noni juice. Oh yeah, and apparently, if you want to go for hours… you should try blending a concoction called magnum (Supligen, peanuts, Guinness, banana, oats).

Perhaps these magic potions provide men with an edge… who knows… but certainly if a man is in good shape… this must translate into something favourable in bed. If he runs regularly, it must improve his stamina. If he pumps weights, he should be able to lift her up. If he does abs, he can penetrate harder.

Now, we all have our egos and we’re all convinced that we’re conquistadors in bed. Maybe this belief is true or maybe it’s a figment of our imagination. Either way, we should endeavour to take things to the next level.

For a woman, sex is more than just a physical thing… there is so much more to experience in the bedroom. So, if you want to take things to a whole new level… you have to be able to connect emotionally with her.

It begins with simple things like communicating. When you’re willing to talk to your girl about her plans, her concerns, her issues … you help her let down her guard. As you begin to unleash her emotions, she’ll become more comfortable around you. It’s even more effective when you reciprocate.

It’s also cool to let your girl know that she is beautiful. And, of course, you should tell her she is sexy… especially if she makes an effort to work out. When you compliment your girl… it’s a gentle reminder that you’re still attracted to her. And, you know what, even the prettiest of women have insecurities. Maybe she thinks her stretch marks are too obvious, maybe she thinks her tummy is too puffy, maybe she thinks she is fat. And the reality is this…. sex is more enjoyable when your girl is comfortable with her body.

In truth… when your woman can sense that the relationship is more than just sex, she’ll want you to take control of her body. And when she is comfortable… her thoughts will solely be on you. You’ll feel a difference in the intensity, you’ll feel a difference in the passion, you’ll feel a difference in her body.

Essentially, it takes two to have great sex. You need to be physically ready… and she needs to be comfortable. And it would be great if you can make things easier for her.

Did you enjoy this article? Be sure to LIKE my Facebook page for updates…Thanks!

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

If you have any questions, feel free to email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

 Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it. 

When a girl sends a man her naked picture… he gets excited… (pun intended)… because it shows that she really likes him. It strokes his ego, and it’s very useful when he’s about to knock one out. Men are drawn to racy women… it’s just our nature.

In the same breath, some women love the thrill of exchanging these types of pictures (or videos). And the reality is … women have become more open about bedroom activities. Perhaps you may disagree with the statement but the astronomical sales of Fifty Shades of Grey suggests otherwise. But of course, women only read the book… or watch the movie… because they are “curious”.

Curious my ass – they’re living vicariously through that movie.

A few women will voluntarily send their pictures to men because they know it will turn them on, while other women will send stuff because their boyfriends asked for it. And then in some cases, some women will send it because their boyfriends demanded it. So, although she was hesitant at first… he pressured her, made her feel guilty… until she caved in.

Whether she voluntarily sent pictures or she was forced to do so… she’s left herself exposed. When there’s a break-up, her boyfriend may turn out to be an asshole and post her pictures to be vindictive. Or, her device may be stolen… and the thief may have access to the classified photos. It’s also possible that her computer may be hacked by someone who wants to be mischievous. And the list goes on.

If her picture is released, few will sympathise with her. People will say all kinds of things – “She’s so stupid”, “What a whore”, “Ediat gyal” etc. And it’s doesn’t matter how strong she is, if her pics are all over the internet, it’s enough to break her down and reduce her to tears.

There may also be ramifications at her job. People may view her differently… think less of her. It may even ruin her chance at a promotion. It’s a tough reality to face. She also has to contend with the embarrassment that she may have caused some family members… especially if she has a child… or if she has a younger sibling who looks up to her.

If a man really cares about his girl, he needs to be mindful of the risks associated with naked pictures and videos. His satisfaction can’t take precedence over her reputation. Men need to live by this mantra. We also should not applaud the men who maliciously ruin the lives of women.

It’s natural to want to see these sexy pictures but it should be more natural for us to want to protect our women.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I know it’s unlikely that pictures will end up on the internet. But you can’t play percentage games with someone’s future. It’s not worth it.

And the truth is… the best memories are never captured on camera. No matter how old you get, there are some things that you will never forget. They will remain as vivid as ever, they will always be embedded in your thoughts. And you won’t need a picture or video to remember the details.

Now, I know some people are adventurous and will continue to take the risk. If you insist on sending stuff or documenting your sex life… perhaps you should consider obscuring your face. But … it’s better to be safe than to be sorry.

And ladies, if a man can’t respect this stance, he doesn’t have your best interest at heart.

Did you find this article useful? Be sure to LIKE my Facebook page for updates…Thanks!

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

If you have any questions, feel free to email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

 Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it. 

When you just met someone, and you’re really into them, it’s natural to get excited about talking to them. You get up before the alarm goes off… get ready in good time… and you’re off to work. You find that you’re in a great mood and not even a 3 hour meeting can dampen your spirit.

You’re still trying to impress your crush, so you think carefully about what you want to text. And when you type the perfect message…. you rethink… and then you retype an even more perfect message. But then you reread it a few times and you’re still not satisfied, so you tweak it one more time. And then… somehow… somewhere in all the indecisiveness… you send it with a minor typo.

If you’re a guy you whisper under your breath damn it; if you’re a girl you whisper ugh. Nah – I’m just kidding… the unisex response for messing up a text to your crush is shit.

Anyway, after you have sent your text, you anxiously wait for a response. And time has never moved more slowly. So, when your crush texts you back — it doesn’t matter if you’re a wanna-be-thug, a nerd, a beauty contestant, an insecure girl — you smile contently to yourself.  And you both text happily ever after for the rest of the day.  You flirt, you laugh, you smile. Before you know it… it’s 5:00pm and work is over.

Now, unfortunately, as the relationship develops, it’s unrealistic to regularly text throughout the day. Frankly speaking, we all have things to do and there is no way you can be productive if you’re glued to your phone.  Additionally, it’s important to let your partner miss you.

The thing is this… when you’re consistently around someone, when you consistently talk to someone… it can inevitably become unbearable.

Here’s a fundamental rule in life: people get tired of things after a while. But when you love something, and you take a break from it, you always come back with renewed passion.  And this theory applies to relationships.

Now don’t get me wrong, I believe it’s very important to communicate. Some of us fall short in this department. But it’s equally important to give your partner a little space. So, we have to find the right balance to keep the spark alive.

Life is dynamic and there are times when you need to talk to your partner throughout the day. And that’s fine. But you can’t expect to be consistently messaging every day… even if that’s how your relationship started out.

Let me be clear. It’s absolutely important to send a ‘good morning’ text to your spouse. It’s nice to check up on them throughout the day. It’s great to send the one off flirty message “Can’t wait to see your sexy ass lata”… But it’s not okay to be needy… it’s not okay to be nagging… it’s not okay to be annoying like Manchester United fans.

Did you enjoy this article? Be sure to LIKE my Facebook page for updates…Thanks!

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

If you have any questions, feel free to email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

 Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it. 

When a man is lying in bed, looking at his girl undress after a fun night out on the town, he’ll crave her body. And he will crave it even more when she unhooks her bra, looks suggestively at him, and slowly crawls into bed.

As she taunts every inch of his body, it will heighten his rampant desire for her. He will devour her lips, torture her with his touch and then take her.  And hopefully, he will last more than 5 minutes.

Anyway, after sex, if he’s really into his girl, it would be natural for him to want to cuddle. Because he enjoys being close to her… very close to her. He may stroke her arm and playfully kiss her on the shoulder. I dunno how to explain it… but there’s something about holding her closer while she stretches, then shuffles her body to align it with his, and smiles contentedly.

It’s also natural for him to fall asleep in the “spoon” position. But eventually, he should be able to roll over to the other side of the bed. It’s impossible to get a good night’s rest when you’re cuddling all night. It’s the most frustrating thing ever. His hand will get numb… her hand will get numb. He’ll want to adjust his body but he has to keep still because if he moves… she’ll wake up.

Albert Einstein once said “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Or was it Newton? One of those nerds said it… can’t remember who it was. Anyway, the point is… every time he manages to sleep, she’ll shift and wake him up. Every time she manages to fall asleep, he’ll shift and wake her up.

AND THEN YOU HAVE THE SNORING. DEAR GOD. That will drive someone crazy. This is annoying… especially when you need to get some rest because you have to go to work the next day.

So, without further ado, here is my suggestion:

Tonight, make love to your woman… hold her closely till both your bodies become the same temperature. Cuddle up wid her after. You may or may not fall asleep in that position but after awhile kiss her on the cheek and say “goodnight babes” and roll over to the other side of the bed. If she’s supposed to wake up at 6:00 am, set your alarm for 5:50 am.  When the alarm goes off in the morning, roll back over to her, put your arm around her, your foot over her… and enjoy 10 minutes of magic… till it’s time to get ready for work “Yawn”.

 Did you enjoy this article? Be sure to LIKE my Facebook page for updates…Thanks!

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

If you have any questions, feel free to email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

 Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.