Why You Shouldn’t Text Too Much In Your Relationship


When you just met someone, and you’re really into them, it’s natural to get excited about talking to them. You get up before the alarm goes off… get ready in good time… and you’re off to work. You find that you’re in a great mood and not even a 3 hour meeting can dampen your spirit.

You’re still trying to impress your crush, so you think carefully about what you want to text. And when you type the perfect message…. you rethink… and then you retype an even more perfect message. But then you reread it a few times and you’re still not satisfied, so you tweak it one more time. And then… somehow… somewhere in all the indecisiveness… you send it with a minor typo.

If you’re a guy you whisper under your breath damn it; if you’re a girl you whisper ugh. Nah – I’m just kidding… the unisex response for messing up a text to your crush is shit.

Anyway, after you have sent your text, you anxiously wait for a response. And time has never moved more slowly. So, when your crush texts you back — it doesn’t matter if you’re a wanna-be-thug, a nerd, a beauty contestant, an insecure girl — you smile contently to yourself.  And you both text happily ever after for the rest of the day.  You flirt, you laugh, you smile. Before you know it… it’s 5:00pm and work is over.

Now, unfortunately, as the relationship develops, it’s unrealistic to regularly text throughout the day. Frankly speaking, we all have things to do and there is no way you can be productive if you’re glued to your phone.  Additionally, it’s important to let your partner miss you.

The thing is this… when you’re consistently around someone, when you consistently talk to someone… it can inevitably become unbearable.

Here’s a fundamental rule in life: people get tired of things after a while. But when you love something, and you take a break from it, you always come back with renewed passion.  And this theory applies to relationships.

Now don’t get me wrong, I believe it’s very important to communicate. Some of us fall short in this department. But it’s equally important to give your partner a little space. So, we have to find the right balance to keep the spark alive.

Life is dynamic and there are times when you need to talk to your partner throughout the day. And that’s fine. But you can’t expect to be consistently messaging every day… even if that’s how your relationship started out.

Let me be clear. It’s absolutely important to send a ‘good morning’ text to your spouse. It’s nice to check up on them throughout the day. It’s great to send the one off flirty message “Can’t wait to see your sexy ass lata”… But it’s not okay to be needy… it’s not okay to be nagging… it’s not okay to be annoying like Manchester United fans.

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About Christopher Lai

Christopher Lai is an award winning Jamaican relationship blogger and author. His articles have appeared in The Huffington Post and Thought Catalog.
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5 Responses to Why You Shouldn’t Text Too Much In Your Relationship

  1. Chudian Rowe says:

    These sounds really interesting to me I would love to have a book especially about. Communication my husbon to be need to read about this

  2. Chudian Rowe says:

    Texting can.cause a better way of communication but not when you over do it as In this article you need to let you spouse miss you awhile Yes sometimes you will get a bit frustrated at times so you jus have to no how to rotate yourself

  3. SJR says:

    Very interesting article. Had to laugh at one point as I am reminded of me. Love when you talk back but get tired and annoyed very quickly.

  4. Barbara Case says:

    Thats the initial stage which becomes tedious after a while but what when u hit the whattsap button and your man is online and you havent heard from him all day. Who is he talking with?

  5. Romario says:

    that manchester united fans refrence XD! Overall, well written and to the point good job Mr Lai.

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