Why Women Shouldn’t Be Afraid To Tell The Truth About Their Age

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I was recently flirting with someone in their 30s. It was her birthday and, somewhere in the mix, I asked if she was“24 or 25” today… she blushed, laughed and said “23”.

Clearly, women find it complimentary when people assume they are younger than they really are. They’ve been made to believe beauty is associated with youth. And, you can’t really blame them because more often than not, older men tend to go for younger women. Plus, men, typically have a preference for a flat stomach, smooth skin and a certain weight profile.

So, as a defence mechanism, women come up with nonsensical rules like “you should never ask a woman her age”. Anyway, the whole age thing confuses me. It doesn’t make any sense to me.

Hear me out for a second: When a girl reaches her 30s, she has to work harder to keep her body in shape because her metabolism slows down. Right? So, she’ll get a personal trainer, she will cut back on carbs, she won’t eat after 8:00pm, and she has to do cardio (and she hates cardio). And would you believe she actually feels guilty when she eats a slice of cheesecake. Yeah, for real.

Now, call me stupid, but after all that sacrifice, it would seem logical that you would want to boast that you’re 35 and still got it! You should want people to know that you’re in your 30s.  You’ve worked your ass off and you deserve the admiration.

Furthermore, this is the way the world works now. When a young man in his 20s meets a hot 30-year old, he’ll crave her attention and fantasize about her. When a man in his 30s meets a hot girl, I can guarantee you, that in 2016, he would be more attracted to this girl if he knew she was in her 30s as opposed to thinking she was in her 20s. It boils down to this… when a woman takes care of her body, it’s the biggest turn on in life. Ever.

So, the next time you’re in a position to reveal your age to a guy… you should do it without hesitation. In fact, if he avoids the topic, you should even take the initiative and find a way to broach the subject. Trust me, it’s in your best interest.

This article first appeared on Thought Catalog. Be sure to LIKE my Facebook page for updates…Thanks!

If you need to contact me, email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it. 

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Couples Are Too Quick To Say “I Love You” And It’s Causing All Kinds of Problems

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Nowadays… a guy will meet a girl, exchange numbers, send flirtatious messages, go on several dates, ask her to be his girlfriend… and in a few months, they’ll say they’re in love. Like, they’ll literally spend all night talking on the phone and at the end of the conversation, he’ll say “I love you” and she’ll say “I love you too”.

Awwwwwwwwww

Or better yet, she’ll call him when he’s with his friends, and at the end of the convo, she’ll deliberately say “I love you babe” … just to see if he’ll respond… and he’ll whisper surreptitiously “I love you too.” And his friends will laugh and carry on.

In all seriousness though, love isn’t a trivial thing. You can’t fall in love with someone after a kiss or a romantic getaway. Love is a process that requires patience, consistency and proactivity. It takes time to fall in love with someone and your partner has to earn the right to hear those three words “I love you”.

Here’s the thing, when you prematurely tell your partner ‘I love you’, they’ll inherently begin to wonder if you’re clingy. Listen, trust me, you don’t want to come off as being clingy. That’s the quickest way to turn off someone.

Now, apart from the whole clingy issue, when you hastily tell someone you love them, they’ll subliminally begin to take you for granted. In essence, you’ve effectively put them on a pedestal and they’re likely to become complacent.

After a while, the guy doesn’t make the effort to go out for dinner anymore, because he’s busy with work… All of a sudden he’s busy with work. And the girl, well, she used to spend hours thinking about her outfit. She wanted to make a good impression, and so she put effort into date night. Now, if she’s had a stressful week she can’t be bothered to because she’s too tired to go out.

And the list goes on and on.

There’s a time and place for everything. You can’t afford to make the mistake of expressing certain feelings ahead of time. The “I love you” blunder is the biggest error you can make, but other phrases are detrimental.

Imagine, you met someone and things are going great. You’ve know them for about 2 weeks or so. But for some reason, you never got the chance to speak to them on Friday. Let’s say the next day, they send you a text “Hey, how are you?” You’re really into them, so you’re excited for the message and you respond “I’m good… how are you? ” and they say “I’m good… I miss you.”

If you’re the type who’s quick to tell your partner “I miss you”, “I love you” etc. You need to understand that an overdose of these phrases can have a deleterious effect on your relationship.

At some point in your life, you’re going to fall hard for someone. It’s inevitable. But no matter what, you shouldn’t prematurely tell your partner how you feel about them because more often than not, it’s going to ruin things. And more importantly, your partner needs to prove that they’re worthy of hearing how you really feel about them.

When you’re absolutely sure that your partner is the one – not because you have a good feeling – but because they’ve shown over time to have the qualities you admire and respect in a significant other. Then at that point, it’s appropriate to truly express how you feel. And after a romantic night, when you finally say “I love you” for the very first time, it will really mean something to your partner, and their natural response will be “I love you too”.

This article first appeared on Thought Catalog. Be sure to LIKE my Facebook page for updates…Thanks!

If you need to contact me, email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it. 

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An Open Letter To My Homie, Santa Claus: Can You Introduce Me To A Good Girl?

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Santa, my homie … what’s up bro?

It’s been a while since I wrote you… 22 years to be exact.

Not that I was upset about the remote control car you gave me back in 95, but all my friends got a super Nintendo. And yes, I did call you fat, but can we let bygones be bygones.

So, for this Christmas, I was hoping you could help me to find a girl… you know, a girl with certain qualities.  Look, Santa – I know a good girl is hard to find. I get that. And, sure, I know that I’m far from perfect. But help out a brother, and I promise not to mess things up.

Back in the day, I only liked pretty girls.  As I’ve matured, I’m still attracted to pretty girls, but it’s becoming less of a priority for me. At my age, I’m more interested in substance. When I nervously look into her eyes, gently rest my hand on her cheek and kiss her for the first time… I want to feel a connection.

Santa, if it’s not too much to ask, I want a girl who is kind-of-funny. I want to laugh when she says something funny. And when her jokes are not so funny, I want to laugh at her corniness. Yeah, and when I give my silly jokes, I hope she embraces them. If she likes my sense of humor, I can always find a way to cheer her up. Maybe if she’s having an awful day at work because her boss is being an asshole… I could take a picture of a box of eggs and send it to her saying “Let’s egg his house later”… And, Santa, if she’s down for that … I’m down for that sh*t. You feel me bro? (JUST KIDDING)

But more importantly, I want to be able to talk to her about everything: current affairs, economics, politics … and this may be asking too much … but can she be knowledgeable on sports? It would be great if we could agree on some topics, argue ferociously on other points and engage our minds intellectually. That’s just a big turn-on for me.

Santa, honestly, I don’t like talking about sensitive things. But even though I think I’m a tuff guy, if she’s the one, I should feel comfortable enough to let down my guard and speak about the most sensitive issues. Santa, I want to be become vulnerable with her. And I want her to reciprocate.

Mr. Claus, I want her to be ambitious – career driven. I’m just attracted to that type of personality. And if she earns more than me, I’m not going to feel slighted by that. In fact, I would use her success to motivate me to achieve my goals. Together, we should help each other to fulfil our potential.

I could go and on, but you get the point.

So, Santa, it would be nice if you could arrange for us to cross paths sometime soon. Maybe I’ll see her at the supermarket, maybe I’ll see her at a party, maybe I’ll see her at church. Who knows?

You don’t need to give me any details bro, just let me run into her, and I’ll know what to do.

Thanks!

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 Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it. 

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Why It’s Okay To Put Him In The Friend Zone

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Everything is fast-paced these days. A guy meets a chick, he gets her number, they exchange a few messages and by the weekend… they go out for drinks. After a few rounds, he flirts intensely with her and she flirts back and things happen.

That’s the way we court nowadays. And it’s frightening.

However, if you’re looking for something serious, you have to take things slow to get to really know his intentions. You don’t want to become another statistic… some girl he mentions by the way, to his friends that he slept with… and the sex was great, or awful or whatever.  And they knuckle punch and laugh and carry on.

So, when you meet a guy, and you have a good feeling about him, he should prove to you that he can be patient.  He can’t meet you on Wednesday, and then automatically think that you must go out with him on the weekend. Hell nah. He needs to show you that he’s not just into you for a quick fix… he needs to prove that he can be more… that he can be a friend. However long that takes.

So, before you go on any dates, put him in the friend zone and see how he copes.  While in the zone, he should be trying to know every little thing about you. What makes you smile, what are your ambitions, what are your insecurities, what’s on your bucket list etc. And, over time, you’ll be able to tell if he’s genuine or if he’s just pretending to be interested… because he has ulterior motives.

Time is the ultimate test.

Now, boys will be boys, and if he’s really into you, it’s natural for him to ask you out… he’s human after all.  And it’s probably natural for you to feel pressured to say “yes”. But if you’re not fully comfortable with him yet, it’s in your best interest to politely decline. And if he doesn’t respect your decision, well he needs to go. Try not to feel sorry for him… and cave in… because you’re afraid he may move on. If he gives up that easily, then he’s not in it for the long haul.

On the contrary, if he accepts your decision and genuinely tries to improve his friendship with you, then maybe, just maybe, he may deserve to take you out. But, remember, long-term relationships require patience, so he still has some way to go.

When you’re convinced that he has shown the qualities that you admire in a friend, then he can graduate from the friend zone and take you out on a date. Although you’re probably head over heels for this guy… this of course does not mean that you automatically open up the flood gates for physical stuff. Trust me, for him to truly appreciate you, he has to work his ass off, even for a kiss.

Hypothetically speaking, let’s say a tennis player is preparing for the US open. He trained his ass off in the preseason, to give himself the best chance of winning. Now, imagine, if at the start tournament, the organizer announced that he’s the winner and gave him the trophy without playing a match. Do you think the trophy will mean that much to him? 

Let’s be clear, it’s not about playing hard to get or anything like that. The bottom line is this — all successful marriages are based on strong friendships. Let him prove his worth as a friend/ prove he has what it takes to be a friend, before you give him a chance to connect with you on a whole new level.

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9 Things Every ‘Macho’ Guy Should Do For His Girl

Couple flirting while making breakfast

Society forces us to be macho these days.

So, we’ll wear our pants below our waist, wear our cap backways, listen to Rick Ross, drink beer while watching football. In fact, we are so macho these days, if we’re in the club and someone accidentally spills drink on our shirt, we might just fight them (or at least pretend like we wanna fight them).

Now if you think that’s macho, that’s fine, we’re all guilty of that shit. But when you’re with your woman, sometimes you need to exude a different type of “machoism”… and sometimes it can surface in ways you don’t realize. When you’re man enough to be romantic  … for her, it doesn’t get more macho than that.

1. Cook her nice meal. Or if you suck in the kitchen, at least make an attempt to prepare something special. It’s the thought that counts (unlike a crappy birthday gift). So, without further ado, google a recipe, print it, head to the kitchen and do your thing.

2. Watch a romantic drama with her. Get comfortable in the couch, put your arms around her, pull her close and play “The Fault in Our Stars”. She’ll cry in your arms and you’ll connect on a whole new level.

3. Take her out dancing. And I’m not referring to the club where you grind up on her. I’m talking about going to Salsa. It’s even more romantic, if you’re learning together… she’ll laugh at your mistakes, you’ll hold her close, she’ll look into your eyes, you’ll want to kiss her.

4. Handwrite a poem. It doesn’t matter if you’re good or not. If you write something for the girl you love, it would mean the world to her. And for some reason, if it’s handwritten, it would feel that much more special.

5. Buy her a red rose, just because she’s special to you.

6. At least once in your relationship, take a long romantic walk along the beach and hold her hand every step of the journey. Walk aimlessly till you stumble across the perfect spot, spread out a towel on the sand, take out a bottle of wine, pour two glasses… and watch the sun set.

7. If she owns a dog, especially a cute little doggy. Arrange to go to the park on a Sunday evening and bond with her and her furry friend. If she doesn’t own a dog, but she’s an animal person, ask one of your friends to ‘babysit’ their dog. Don’t question it, just do it.

8. Go out for Karaoke night… choose the sappiest song ever, go on the stage, dedicate the song to her and sing your heart out. And it’s okay to choose a Backstreet Boys or Nsync song because many of us used to listen to them but pretended like we didn’t.

9. If she’s never seen snow (or you’ve never seen snow), plan a trip to Seattle. Play around in the snow like kids, make a snow ball and throw it at her and she’ll do the same. And when the moment is perfect, hold her close till you warm her up, look into her eyes and kiss her while she quivers in your arms.

This article first appeared on Thought Catalog. Be sure to LIKE my Facebook page for updates…Thanks!

If you need to contact me, email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it. 

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14 Little Things Every Guy Does When He’s Really Into The Girl He’s Dating

 

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1. Texts her throughout the day. You just met your boo and you have a good feeling, like, a really good feeling. You can’t stop thinking about her. You’ll text her while you’re in class, you’ll text her while you’re in a meeting, you’ll text her while you’re crossing the road. BEEP BEEP!

2. Loses sleep. By the time you get home, take a shower, and browse the internet for a bit, it’s time for bed. So, you’ll head to your room, switch off the lights, jump under the covers and call her. Because when you’re into someone, you don’t get to sleep for 8 hours (unless you skip class or call in sick for work)

3. Taps her ass. When she’s walking by, just for the heck of it.

4. Plays around. You’re going on the road to grab some dinner, and you ask “Babes, would you like anything?” and she responds “No, I just had something to eat.” But when you get back home, and begin to devour your meal she uninvitingly takes a bite. And, then, she looks at you with that sheepish smirk on her face. So, you pretend to be pissed.

5. Texts “I miss you.” And wait for her to respond, “I miss you too.”

6. Texts “I love you.” She’ll respond “I love you too.” And if you’re the really mushy type, you may take it one step further and say “I love you more.” Damn, that sounds sappy.

7. Cuddles her. At 5:00 am, when you’re half asleep, you’ll roll over to her side of the bed, put your arms around her and pull her close. And for her, that’s the best feeling ever. Every girl will agree.

8. Cleans up. He’ll help out, willingly. And even learn to put the toilet seat down. The toilet thing might take up to 10 years, but it’s a good sign when it happens.

9. Slow dances. You’re in the club, dancing to rap music (or as the older folks say “grinding on each other”) because apparently what we do these days is not exactly dancing. Towards the end of the night, when the DJ switches up the music and plays a song like “All of Me,” you’ll turn your girl around, put your arms around her waist, and look into her eyes. And actually dance!

10. Hugs her. You’re watching a movie and you want to get comfortable. So you’ll stretch out your legs (on a foot rest), inch closer, and wrap your arms around her. She’ll then shuffle in your arms and rest her head on your shoulder.

11. Really listens. After making love, she may want to talk a little. She’ll fold her hands and rest them on your chest, using it as a cushion for her chin. And while she asks you all kinds of questions, because women always got stuff on their minds. You’ll stroke her hair and gently rub her arms.

12. Teases her. When she does something silly, he’ll tease her right back. Because it’s kind of cute when she gets worked up over minor stuff.

13. Looks out for her. You’re up late doing work, but you’ve had enough, so you close your laptop and head to your room. And there she is lying across the bed, sprawled out. Clearly, women can’t sleep in a straight line (it’s impossible for them). But more importantly, you don’t want her to get chilly nor be eaten alive by mosquitos, so you cover her with the sheet.

14. Watches her sleep. You finally get into bed, take a second to gaze at her, smile contentedly and then you’re off to sleep.

This article first appeared on Thought Catalog and was also published by The Huffington Post .

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Follow me on Instagram: @the_lai_detector

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If you need to contact me, email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com

 Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it. 

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7 Female Body Parts Every Man Needs To Pay More Attention To

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Women are complex beings. If you understand that concept, then you’ll understand women. Every guy would like to believe that a woman has never faked an orgasm with him before—that he’s the best lover she’s ever had—but the truth is, for the most part, we really can’t tell when the ladies are faking it. We just hope they’re not. The thing is, what drives one girl crazy will barely elicit a moan from another. And believe me bro, you’re gonna wanna make her moan.

We men are easy to please by comparison. A couple of strokes here, and there, and we’re done. Not so with the female sex. You gotta find those erogenous zones. And every woman is different. So let me help you out.

  1. Her earlobes

The ears are way underrated in general, and the tiny pieces of flesh we call the lobes are often overlooked altogether. There’s something about nibbling and sucking on that sensitive spot that will make her ache for more.

  1. The nape of her neck

This is the place just below her hairline and above her shoulder. Kiss it when you’re behind her. Chances are, she’ll turn around, press her body into yours, and kiss you back like mad. Before she turns, hold her there a moment longer to make it clear that you know how to heed her needs.

  1. The entire stretch of her spine

Kiss, nibble, scratch, tickle, form circles with your tongue. Use your free hand to stroke elsewhere. If she arches her back, you know you’re on to something. So turn her over already.

  1. Her lips

If you place your hand on her cheek tenderly, close your eyes, and kiss her right—not like a robot on autopilot—you may be rewarded with a soft moan that originates from the base of her throat. Watch then as things inevitably heat up.

  1. The valley between her breasts

From her breasts and all the way down to her navel lies a stretch of fabulous territory. Massage, graze, and lick all you want. As you do so, glide one hand down to her most sensitive, private area. Stroke her there. When her body spasms, she’ll plead for more.

  1. Her inner thighs

Most men tend to neglect this body part, but there’s something about fondling that soft flesh that makes many women go absolutely wild. Taunt her slowly before diving into the pink flesh marking the pinnacle between her legs. If you’re sufficiently attentive, she’ll be moist by the time you get there.

  1. Her butt

Grab it, squeeze it, spank it. Show that you’re going to take control of her body in a way that gets her excited, but also makes her feel comfortable. Give her a thrill and let her anticipate what might come next…

Did you enjoy this article? Be sure to LIKE my Facebook page for updates…Thanks!

Follow me on Instagram: @the_lai_detector

Click here to preview my eBook, THE LAI DETECTOR

If you need to contact me, email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com

 Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it. 

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