Chances are, at some stage during your work life, you’ll come across the office pervert. He’s the guy that all the women try to avoid. The sleaze. The one who will watch porn on company time. The one with the salacious look who visually mauls you when he sees you in the corridor. The guy who sends shivers down your spine … and not the good kind of shivers either … the make-you-feel-sick kind. He has many aliases but his modus operandi is always the same — he invades your personal space. He makes you uncomfortable.
1. He likes to get physically close:
The new software is a bit difficult to understand; so you ask for help. He comes over. He’s explaining what the different features on the computer are and instead of pulling up a chair, he stands behind you and proceeds to encircle you from behind. You can almost feel his breath on your ear as he leans in. Ugh. You have visions of ‘accidentally’ rolling back your chair … hard … where it hurts … smiling innocently and saying, “Oh no!”, and then offering him your seat.
2. He sends you text messages
It irks you when he sends a message like “We should do lunch sometime”. He knows that you have a boyfriend, or that you’re not interested, but he doesn’t care. He thinks it worth a shot. If he was a stranger, you could easily block his number, but due to circumstances… you’re forced to think of ways to subtly dismiss his intentions.
3. He tries to play in your hair:
You finally scored an appointment with that great hairstylist and your hair is looking fab. You’re mouthing off to the girls at the water cooler telling them how your toes curl to have your stylist in your hair. He passes by and stops. Clearly he overheard what you were saying as he makes an attempt to stroke your hair. You think to yourself that now would be a good time to act startled, spilling the cup of water in your hand, on him. Oops.
4. He tries to cop a feel:
It’s your birthday and hugs are going around. You can see him out of the corner of your eye, furtively awaiting his turn. This is the guy who when he looks at you, creeps you out. Do you really want him to hug you?? Hit snooze on the panic button as you envision yourself waiting until there are about two or three people ahead of him, and looking mortified as you exclaim, “Oh shit! I forgot to …” Then, running out the room, and coming back in a minute or two after, knowing that the hug fest will be over.
5. He attempts to touch your ass:
You just shouted for them to hold the elevator, raced in, and discovered that not only is it jam packed, but he’s standing there … damn it! It’s a tight squeeze in the elevator and he’s going to capitalize on it. You can sense it. This is his golden opportunity… and he knows it. But if as the doors begin to close, you sniffle, then sneeze loudly, chances are people will move away and make room for you to shift. And when they back away, you’ll have gained some extra standing room.
6. He makes inappropriate comments
He makes salacious comments about your work outfit. When he looks suggestively at you, flirts with you, and has the audacity to refer to your breasts… this will make you very uncomfortable. Now, you may not put him in his place because you’re trying to avoid making things awkward. But if he continues to do this… you will snap one day. And, at that point, no one can save him.
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