The Lai Detector

Tag: women

Why A Girl Shouldn’t Let Her Cheating Ex-Man Ruin Her Future

When you first met your guy… things were perfect. You would stay up late at nights talking on the phone, knowing that you had work in the morning. Because who needs 8 hours of sleep when you’re in love. And when he held you close, pulled you deeper into his arms and sought your lips with his mouth… you wanted the night to last forever.

You were crazy about this guy and thought you had a future together. Eventually, you realized that he had flaws but as you got older, you were willing to compromise. You even introduced him to your parents… because after all… it’s time to settle down… your biological clock is ticking.

And then one fine day, after all the suspicions you had, you found out that he’s been having an affair with Melissa. You had a feeling he was sleeping with that “bitch”. And when the reality sets in, you try to control the sobs but eventually you break down in tears.

A few months later you’re still scarred by his act of infidelity. You’re not willing to let down your guard and you’ve embraced the mantra “All men are dogs”. So, effectively, you’ve made one asshole ruin your outlook on life.

However, in this case, your past experiences and your future experiences are mutually exclusive. Furthermore, it would be silly to let your ex dampen your attitude towards men, when he’s probably sleeping with nuff woman. Me saying “probably” is just to sugarcoat the truth… because you and I both know he is f*cking down the place.

Now, all men are not the same. There are good guys out there. Sure, he’ll make errors along the way. Heck, he may even flirt with a cute girl on the one off occasion. But he’ll quickly realize his error and ensure that he does not continue with the foolishness.

There will always be temptations for a man… especially a man in a committed relationship. Women will try to sniff him out. And it’s natural to feel good about yourself when a pretty lady compliments you. But, notwithstanding all these distractions, you need to know that you have men out there who will do whatever it takes to remain faithful.

And eventually, you will notice a big difference. When he leans into your body, gently puts one hand on your face and kisses you, using the other to peel off your clothes… you can tell that he’s not doing this to fulfill his needs… he’s doing this because he needs you.

So, when an attractive guy has to courage to come up to you, say something witty and engage you in a fun-loving conversation… perhaps you should not put him in the same category as your ex. Give him a clean slate.

FYI – There are different types of dogs… Some are loyal, they will never betray you… and some are not.

Did you enjoy this article? Be sure to LIKE my Facebook page for updates…Thanks!

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

If you have any questions, feel free to email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com.

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

February 19, 2015
How Women Should Really Feel About Men Who Are BORING IN BED

When a man is courting you; he will do anything for sex. He will listen to your concerns, display excellent communication skills, plan exciting outings. If he really likes you… he may envision a romantic experience. As his thigh presses against your thigh, you can feel his warm breath on your neck. His muscular arm tenderly holds you close to his chest. For a lady, romance is fulfilling but wouldn’t you also love to do it on the balcony, in the kitchen, on the dresser, in the car.

The first few weeks of relationships are always filled with laughter. He keeps you engaged because he understands the importance of communication. He takes you out on the weekend because he knows how much you love to dance. He’s not too cool to hold your hand at the movies.

He appreciated all of this while you guys were dating. He made a concerted effort to keep you interested because you certainly had options. He had to come good to win you over. So, now you are all head over heels for him.

As time passes, he transforms into a guy that is BORING IN BED. He comes home in the evenings, lies down and turns on the TV. Probably watches a little news, sports highlights, a few sitcoms. The Play Station 3 becomes more alluring than a conversation with you. Listening to how your day went becomes a chore. If you complain about your pet peeves… he concludes that you are miserable because it’s that time of the month.

Passionate lovemaking is now a thing of the past as foreplay becomes less and less. Cuddling is obsolete. When was the last time you went out in 5 inch heels and danced the night away? (Out of curiousity, why do you struggle with 5 inch heels? It seems kind of ridiculous to me, especially when you take them off. But what the hell do I know)

When a man decides to ask you to be his girlfriend… he should honour this commitment. He must be willing to perpetually enthrall you with romance, aspire to be your best friend, engage in fun-loving activities. In other words, he must be the person he was when he first met you.

Every girl has a bucket list. It’s hard to tick off items if all you do is sit around the house with his boring ass. Unless of course your list includes: Going to bed by 10:00 pm, surfing the internet, reading this exciting blog, eating left-overs, texting your girlfriends (Incidentally, if reading this blog was on your to-do list… could you please share it 🙂 )

But seriously, what’s the point of being in a dull relationship? I would never watch a division 5 football (soccer) game… especially when I have been exposed to the Premier League. Hell f**king No!

Based on previous feedback, I know that some men will not like this article. But don’t be mad at me bro… be disappointed in yourself.

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com.

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

March 4, 2014
6 Things That Women Need To Stop Doing In Relationships

Typically, we are the ones who tend to leave the toilet seat up, fail to listen to your concerns and become less affectionate with time. However, this does not absolve you of your role in petty arguments. From time to time, it’s natural to have little disagreements to keep things interesting (great makeup sex!). But let’s not get carried away. Certain things can be avoided.

1. Checking his cell phone

It’s mind boggling how a lady can trust a man with her savings but finds it difficult to grant him exclusive access to his cell phone. What exactly are you hoping to find? I am not saying that you won’t be tempted to take a sneak peek if your partner is taking a shower in the night and the phone vibrates. We are all guilty of that at some point (Except me 🙂 ). Anyhow, try not to audition for the role of Sherlock Holmes in your relationship. Trust is foundation of a meaningful association.

2. “How does this dress look?”

It’s a little unfair to take a few hours to get ready and then ask your boyfriend “Do you think I should wear something else?” Here is the problem: there are two answers YES and NO. If he says yes… he has earned himself a slap. If he says no … then the imminent question will follow “Are you sure?”

Look, if you genuinely want his opinion, observe his reaction. Besides, for him it doesn’t matter how well the designer made the spaghetti straps…he should be too preoccupied with your beauty to notice.

Say what you want about mirrors, but they are fairly accurate (unlike dem damn cameras! … especially when you’re taking a selfie… u zimme).

3. Expect him to read your mind

If he did something that is bothering you … say it to him. For men, it is easier to figure out Fermat’s Last Theorem than to understand what’s going on in your head.

4. Drift apart from your girlfriends

Everybody knows that your boyfriend is the greatest thing since sliced bread. All your updates serve as a constant reminder to everyone who has access to the internet. It’s great that you found a keeper but your relationship will only survive if you have girlfriends. You both need s p a c e from each other. It’s healthy… like a Subway sandwich.

5. The Food Dilemma

Boyfriend: “Babes… I’m going to get something from Wendy’s…. Would you like anything?”

Girlfriend: “No thanks… I’m not hungry”

Fifteen minutes later, he returns with a combo that he is very eager to consume. On the way home, his appetite fell in love with the smell of the burger. Hopefully, the meal is filling because he is starving. As he unwraps the burger, you sheepishly ask for a bite. It doesn’t stop there.

* Please note that we don’t mind sharing but we asked you if you wanted something 🙂

6. Demand an explanation on spot

Men are capable of making mistakes. Leaving the fridge door open, forgetting your anniversary, forgetting the clothes in the dryer. I am joking about the anniversary comment… if he forgets such an important day then you should leave a pillow on the couch for him. Anyway, on a serious note, we can’t always respond immediately to minor infringements when you call. We are not necessarily avoiding the topic but sometimes we may just be in the middle of a conversation with friends, completing an assignment for work or in the middle of an intense work-out session.

Click here to find out the “6 Things That Men Need To Stop Doing In Relationships”

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

https://www.amazon.com/Feel-Like-This-Again-ebook/dp/B0DHV3783Q

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com.

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

February 25, 2014
A Few Problems That (Some) Single Women Have In Their Late 20s and Early 30s.

The Biological Clock

Mom constantly reminds you about the biological clock. Sometimes the nagging is indirect “What happen to that nice young man that came by the house?”… smh … Then there are times when the badgering is direct “When I was your age, your father and I had your sister”.

The bickering can be unsettling but it’s important to understand that you have time on your hands. Physicians will corroborate this statement but if you are not due for a check-up anytime soon then Google can provide useful sources that will give credence. When all’s said and done, always remember that the best gift you can ever give your child… is a good dad.

Rushing Things with a New Crush.

So you met a decent guy and things are going pretty well. Your best friend is excited to meet him because of the text you sent her last night “OMG … He is soooo hottttttt”. Why jeopardize the progress of the relationship with ultimatums like “I would like to have my first child when I am 30 and my second by 33”. Chances are he is probably not ready to engage in these long term discussions after a few dates.

It may be useful to note that a sensible man would be aware of your desire to tie the knot, purchase a home and start a family. He is secretly hoping for this future as well but he has to be certain that he is making the right decision. Maybe he does have a little more time on his hands but you have to be patient… Such is life.

You also need to be sure that he is the one. Keep in mind that every man is capable of impressing a lady to get some good ole loving… but only a keeper can withstand the test of time.

The Need to Compare Yourself To Your Early 20s

So you are oh so excited to post your picture on Facebook for TBT! (Throw back Thursdays). You can’t help but think how great your body looked in 2008. The confidence you once had is not quite there. When you are at the pool, you take a little longer to remove the sarong. You’ve lost the desire to just be spontaneous, get elegantly dressed and head out for a night on the town. You know what … enough of the fluff… So what if your body doesn’t look the same?

Stop with the self-conscious bullshit!! Why waste time monitoring your scale like a fisherman. It’s a misconception to think that you were better looking a few years ago. Embrace your looks as you transition from being that hot girl into that beautiful lady.

Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

https://www.amazon.com/Feel-Like-This-Again-ebook/dp/B0DHV3783Q

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out my other articles on the blog (to the right, Under Archives).

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com.

Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.

January 21, 2014