Why You Shouldn’t Always Be A Nice Guy In Relationships


If you’ve read my articles before… you’ll know that I’m big on romance. In relationships, I encourage men to be affectionate with their girls. I also believe that men should be more adventurous… because kissing your girl on the couch is cool. But it’s even cooler if you’re at the beach, holding her hand, walking aimlessly… waiting for the perfect moment.

However, in every successful relationship, there should be balance. And while it’s great to ride off into the sunset with your girl… there are times when you need to be a bad boy… an original rude bwoy.

Here’s an inexplicable truth – nice guys always get hurt.

Have you ever had a really nice teacher who was very soft spoken – one who couldn’t control the class? It didn’t matter if that teacher explained concepts very well… when you’re soft, people take advantage of you. Students will talk in class, sleep in class and skip class.

Similarly, when you’re a nice guy, your girl will take you for granted. At first, she may be pleased with your chivalry; she may be impressed with your thoughtfulness but after a while if that’s all you have to offer… it gets boring. Relationships are dynamic… and women… well, let’s just say that women are complex. Plus, there is so much more to experience… curiosity is a hell of a thing.

A woman wants her man to take control. She doesn’t want someone she can order around “babes – go do this, babes – go do that”. When she’s acting like a bitch, she doesn’t expect you to be pleading with her to behave. She expects you to command her to stop the bullshit.

The reality is… when you’re too nice… she’ll end up doing things that will hurt you. And she’ll do it unconsciously because she knows you will forgive her… without hesitation. After all, you’re very understanding. It’s not that she means to hurt you but we all do silly things when there are no consequences.

Again, women are complex. Sometimes she wants you to listen to her… sometimes she wants you to tell her what to do. Sometimes she wants to spend time with you… sometimes she wants you out of her space. Sometimes she wants you to make love to her… sometimes she wants you to f*ck her.

Have you ever been to the club… and your girl is grinding up on you? Clearly, you’re not going to go home and light candles. At times like this… as you’re entering through the front door, you should be ripping off her clothes. And if for some reason, it’s hard to pull down her skirt, just remove the panties and get to work.

Life is about variety, never let things become monotonous. It’s cool when you send your girl a text “I miss you” and she responds “I miss you too.” It’s also cool when you send your girl a text “I want to f*ck your brains out.”

There’s a time to be a nice guy and there is a time to be a bad boy. Relationships are about finding the perfect balance. Nobody likes sweet chicken… nobody likes sour chicken… but everybody likes sweet and sour chicken.

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About Christopher Lai

Christopher Lai is an award winning Jamaican relationship blogger and author. His articles have appeared in The Huffington Post and Thought Catalog.
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12 Responses to Why You Shouldn’t Always Be A Nice Guy In Relationships

  1. chik says:

    Sounds soooo much like my man. He believes in chivalry…and is the perfect gentleman….but he’s also a bad boy and takes control of many situations….
    always keeping me on my toes. I never know what to expect!

  2. Char Lesie says:

    That last line was golden! Great job!!!

  3. Christine says:

    Wow, love this article. It’s so true, us women need a mix cause nice guys are so boring!

  4. That sweet and sour chicken ending tho!

  5. lai's biggest fan says:

    yessssss! so true. wish your articles were longer though. I really enjoy reading them

  6. Troiya says:

    Absolutely brilliant, love reading your stuff.

  7. You Sound Confused says:

    I think your confusing the term nice guy with a wimp. The definition of the word “nice” as according to google is “giving pleasure or satisfaction; pleasant or attractive.” Here are a few synonyms: enjoyable, pleasant, pleasurable, agreeable, delightful, satisfying, gratifying. I agree a man should know when to take charge and be dynamic but lets not get it confused. Its a very sad world we live in if chivalry, and thoughtfulness is a dominant part of your personality as a man necomes boring. I think I understand what you are trying to say but i think you also end up discounting the REAL qualities in a man that should be dominant and over emphasizing the ones that really should be seldomly displayed, if at all, and only as a last resort. Yes balance is important but what you have described is not balance. For crying out loud you actually want your man to tell you to stop being a bitch and to shut the f@#k up. One last thing before I stop my rant, you f@#ck people you dont love. You can make love with passion or with romace or a little bit of both with the person you love. I understand what you were attempting to convey with the article but i think it needs some work.

    • Blaaaah, blaah blaah…… take your foot out your asset…
      The article was well written, what you were trying to convey doesn’t make sense. Jus shut it and keep it moving. The yute was dead on point…. I wonder though, are you a m/f… If you’re a female then you’re an hypocrite becuz u should kno how females are and if you’re a male, then smh… You probably getting cheating on… Anyways, have a bless day.

  8. chan says:

    Easy missa rude bwoy! Lol…on point though.

  9. Danielle says:

    Lol! sweet and sour chicken hahaha

  10. Shirlein says:

    Good one! the sweet and sour chicken made me laugh, so true!
    Keep up the good work!

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