3 Unacceptable Reasons Why Women Settle in Relationships


Most girls dream of finding the One. The guy who will, just by a glance, send your stomach aflutter; the guy who makes you nervous when he first says hello; the guy who constantly invades your dreams; the guy who when your good looks fade, when shit happens, when you’re near rock-bottom, will stand by you.

You’re socialized in such a way that in your teens, the dream begins; in your twenties, the search is on; in your thirties, panic sets in; and if you haven’t found the One by the time you hit forty, it’s all over. BULLSHIT. It’s thinking like this that makes you choose unwisely and basically allows you to settle for less than you’re worth.

All your friends are getting hitched.

You’re at the wedding and there’s that moment you dread … the part when the bride tosses the bouquet … And you’re standing there — you, the starry-eyed teenagers and the old lady with the five cats. You secretly vow that the next wedding will be yours. The guy you’re dating is an OK guy, he has an OK job, and he’s probably an OK provider but he doesn’t really do it for you … he doesn’t get your panties wet … he’s just OK. You stay in the relationship hoping that someone better will come along; and then Mr OK pops the question and you figure that this is the best you can do, so you say OK. You settle — a year in the marriage you meet the guy who you should have waited for … The One … then life’s not OK anymore, life’s a bitch.

The biological clock is ticking.

You know that the guy you’re dating is cheating on you but he’s discreet, so you pretend it’s not happening. You believe it’s better to have a cheating guy than have no guy at all.  And, maybe, you’ve even convinced yourself that he will change… right? So, you place yourself at his beck and call … you give him all he wants… because you planned to have your first child by 30.

Then, eventually, you become irritated with your situation… every chance you get, you search his phone, check his Fb account, go through his pockets. Suddenly, overnight, you’ve become that girl … the stalker … the one people talk about and laugh at. You compromise your happiness. You settle — deep down knowing he’s not good for you and you’ll never be the girl he truly wants.

The guy’s hot.

Every girl is after this guy and somehow you snagged him. He’s hot, he’s got a great job, a great house, a great car … he’s got everything. When you go out, you’re the envy of all. Initially, he was attentive, he was loving, he said the right things; but after a few months you realize that he’s mean, controlling and treats you like crap. However, he’s hot and you’re the envy of all, so you put up with it. Nobody has to know. You settle — your life becomes a facade and happiness a fallacy.

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About Christopher Lai

Christopher Lai is an award winning Jamaican relationship blogger and author. His articles have appeared in The Huffington Post and Thought Catalog.
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