The Lai Detector

Tag: Woman

  • Why Every Man In A Relationship Needs To Make A Big Deal Out Of Valentine’s Day

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    Close to Valentine’s Day, some men will find a reason to break up with their girl. They can’t be bothered to buy a gift; they don’t like her that much or they’re just not into the romantic thing. Now, you really can’t help these guys… they’re douchebags.

    There are, however, good guys who are genuinely not keen on Valentine’s Day…  perhaps they should be reminded of a few things.

    As a man, it’s easy to ask the obvious, “Why do I need one day out of the year to show that I care about my girlfriend?” … And I think this is fair question to ask… especially if you’re the type of guy who puts a lot of effort into your relationship.

    It’s also easy for a man to be apathetic about February 14, because some women will downplay their expectations on the day to avoid disappointment. She may say something like “Valentine’s Day is not that big of a deal to me”… and this does not help the situation.

    Now, in order for you to give of yourself on Valentine’s Day, you really need to appreciate the significance of the day. Sir, you need to realize how important it is to most women… even if she feigns nonchalance.

    Being in a good relationship is like being a professional tennis player. You have to constantly play in tournaments for a number of reasons… but your focus is on the four major titles… the four Grand Slams. Similarly, when you’re in a relationship, you have to constantly take your girl out on dates but your focus should be on the four major date nights… the big four.

    Australian Open (Birthday)

    French Open (Valentine’s Day)

    Wimbledon (Anniversary)

    US Open (New Year’s Eve)

    In essence, Valentine’s Day is right up the alley with the other important nights and should be treated with the same level of enthusiasm. Now, every woman is different, so some may give more weight to the other dates… just like how a tennis player may have a preference for a particular Grand Slam… but the fact remains the same… V-day is very important.

    Now, for a second, recall when you first asked your girl out on a date. You probably didn’t have the balls to call her, so you sent her a message… then anxiously waited for a response. And when she replied, your reaction wasn’t exactly thug-like. So, perhaps you’re not as macho as you may think you are … you definitely have it in you to do something romantic.

    Also, hypothetically speaking… let’s say you began courting your girl in January… I’m pretty sure you would do something sweet on Valentine’s Day because you know how much it would mean to her.

    So, clearly, you understand the significance of the day.

    We can all agree that men like to be challenged… it’s healthy for our egos. And you should certainly adopt that mindset when it comes to Valentine’s Day. You should give it your best shot to make it an unforgettable day. This, of course, requires you to be very creative… and this, of course, requires sacrifice. But it’s definitely worth it when after a day filled with surprises, laughter and nostalgia… you get to draw closer, put your arms around her and kiss her lips.

    And for the Ladies who are reading this article… please note that when I made the tennis analogy, you should know that it applies to Mixed Doubles as well. Because you, also, have to understand that if you want to make the day a memorable one… you need to make him feel special. Valentine’s Day is hard work… but people don’t usually appreciate things that come easy… except a free ticket to a party.

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    Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

    If you have any questions, feel free to email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

     Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it. 

  • 6 Ways A Woman Will Ruin Her Relationship

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    If you have stumbled across this blog, you should know that I recently posted an article “6 Ways A Man Will Ruin His Relationship”. I’ve been asked by readers to highlight the problems that are caused by women in relationships. So, here goes…

    1.  Entertaining another man

    When you’re good looking… guys will compliment you. It’s okay to be polite and to engage in small talk. It’s also okay for you to get excited that a hot guy said, “You’re gorgeous”. But when you decide to exchange phone numbers and justify your actions by saying “he’s just a friend” then you’re asking for trouble. As time passes, you begin to develop an emotional bond with this man… you start to delete his inappropriate messages, you lock your phone with passwords, you think about him during the days, you think about him while you’re with your boyfriend.

    When you have an argument with your boyfriend… guess who you’re gonna turn to?

    2.  Having too many drinks

    Girls night out! You’re having a great time with your friends… you feel nice (tipsy). A cute guy introduces himself, offers to buy you a drink and you accept. He begins to flirt, you flirt back. A few drinks later, he feels comfortable enough to put his hand on your side while he seduces you.

    By the way, this is not a ‘mistake’… you consciously allowed yourself to become vulnerable.

    3.  Making comparisons

    When you constantly compare your relationship to other couples… it will frustrate your man. You don’t need to make remarks like “Why can’t you be as affectionate as Matthew?”  This, however, does not mean that you shouldn’t encourage your man to improve in certain areas but there are more effective ways to do so.

    4.  Lack of trust

    When he was courting you, he used to send you cute messages throughout the day. Even though he was at work (or in class)… he found a way to constantly text you. It’s understandable that you would love him to be as responsive as he was in the dating stages… but his messaging rate was not sustainable. This does not mean he’s becoming complacent, this does not mean he’s busy texting other women, this does not mean he’s losing interest.

    5.  Constantly complaining to your female bestie

    You don’t need to give your friend all the negative details about your relationship… especially if you fail to mention the good stuff that he does. If every time you’re upset with your boyfriend, you feel the need to bad chat him with your bestie… she will provide you with an automated response “Ugh … What an asshole! …”  (And then she will ramble on). All this negativity cannot be healthy for your relationship.

    6.  Becoming complacent

    Your man values your personality, that’s why he asked you to be his girlfriend. But a man also loves it when his lady is looking stunning in a sexy dress. At the party, he feels good to know that other men are thinking “damn dat girl look good”. When he started dating you… you were energetic, spontaneous and in-shape.  These days, you make excuses for going out on a Friday night, you make excuses for going to the gym, you make excuses for everything.

    Click on the image below to check out my eBook, To Feel Like This Again.

    If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or you can email me at chris.paul.lai@gmail.com. 

    Any picture featured on this site unless otherwise stated, I claim no credit for. The use of images are for aesthetics only and are taken from various websites. If there is a picture that belongs to you and is not credited, please contact me (chris.paul.lai@gmail.com). I will either credit it or remove it.